Every now and then, when all creativity leaves my body like so much intermittent rainfall on blacktop pavement at noon on a sunny, 90-degree day, I check my blog stats. I feel so sorry for the readers who came here, all psyched to learn about their pet pecadilloes, and found only my rambling tales of assorted animalia, gray hair, and optometrist appointments. It is to those unfortunate folks, unable to quench their thirst for knowledge, that I offer my sincere apologies.
Mrs. Brady Haircut
It's not here. I don't have one. I can't give one. My hairstylist, aka The Butcher of Seville, does not give them. You are split-ends out of luck.
My Lilac Bush is Sagging
Most of them do, when they are full of blooming lilacs. Mine are not, nor were they, during lilac blooming-in-the-dooryard season. The goats ate them. I have no advice. I hope this is really about lilacs. Not some euphemism for an inappropriate topic.
Backroads of Real Cats
Whatever. Like there are backroads of fake cats. What kind of person wants to know about backroads of real cats? What's to know? Where they drive? Toonces is not real. What's the deal?
Shoes with Toe Holes
Somebody's got a bunion!
I Ripped Off My Blouse
Hey! Winona Rider is found my blog! Or not. Maybe somebody violently removed her lady-shirt, and wants to commiserate, to find a kindred spirit. Which is a bit disturbing, actually. Nobody here needs the blouse off your back. Keep you blouse on, already!
6 comments:
Val, you sipping the suds? You are witty.
Ha, this makes me laugh because the whole reason I am here is cuz I was checking the stats on my blog. Maybe we need to get out more...anywho, thanks for sending some readers my way! And evidently if you search "sugar snap peas make you fart" you will find me. Which is ... just disturbing. And not nearly as cool as Winona Ryder. Humph.
You are one wild and crazy kind of gal! LOL
Linda,
No suds. I would be out-of-control witty with suds. Like the time I dressed as a can of Coors Light for Halloween.
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lyssa,
I do need to get out more. But is the world really ready for that? I think not. Don't sweat the sugar pea farts. It beats "Erlenmeyer flask bong" any day.
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Becky,
But without the Steve Martin shirt and cap.
Ha! Yes, you're correct. Maybe you should get a shirt and cap!! And be sure and do "the walk"!! :D
Becky,
I can do that. But I don't think I should be talking about big American breasts. Because I already had that dream where I had four boobs.
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