The Anti-Polyanna

Never have I been a blue calm sea. I have always been a storm. Ahem. Technically, that was Stevie Nicks, on Fleetwood Mac's Tusk album. But I know what she meant.

I am not one to see the silver lining in every cloud. If somebody asked me if the glass was half empty or half full, I would probably grumble because I didn't like the glass. My husband says I would complain if I was hung with a new rope. I'm not sure I understand that one, but I think it's the complain part that he's emphasizing. I do not live in a cotton candy, rainbow, puppies and kittens, unicorn world.

Sometimes I need to dwell on the negative. The obstacle that prevents me from attaining world domination. The fly in my ointment, the bug up my butt, the thorn in my side, the rain on my parade, my bone of contention, the wad in my panties, the yanker of my chain, the thief of my candy. I just have to let it out.

Like the leopard cannot change his spots, nor the scorpion his nature, I must work things out in my own way. Which does not mean that I am a predator, or sting people who help me across the river. I am a bit skeptical and scope out a situation from all angles before committing myself wholeheartedly. And I don't see anything wrong with that. What a boring world this would be if everybody was Pollyanna.

I have never seen Pollyanna in its entirety. A couple of weeks ago I found it by accident on one of my free movie channels. I watched some, and let it play in the background. Who can resist a Hayley Mills accent? Not me. The character I identified with was Angelica, the sour-puss servant. Or as some would recognizer her, Ralph. You know, of Alf and Ralph Monroe, the carpenters on Green Acres. Mary Grace Canfield, the actress.

Even Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory needed something or somebody to cut the sweetness. Violet, anyone? And Survivor constantly needs villains, from Sue Hawk and Richard Hatch in season one, Borneo, to Jerri Manthey in season two, Australian Outback, to Russell Hantz in the most recent incarnation. Seinfeld had his Even Steven moments. There's Yin and Yang. Magnets have positive and negative poles. Atoms contain protons and electrons. The water cycle runs on evaporation and condensation.

We are not all meant to be alike.