Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Backroads Miz Manners Declares: It's a Great Gig if One Can Get It

Dear Backroads Miz Manners,

I read on the innernets that a teacher is being fired for calling her students future criminals on her Facebook page. Can that really happen? She didn't give any names of the future criminals. Isn't she entitled to free speech? It's not like she posted a picture of Little Lord Fauntleroy and labeled him, specifically, as a criminal. Aren't teachers allowed to let their hair down, to blow off steam, to enjoy the same constitution-given rights as other citizens on their own time?

Signed,
I Thought This Was America

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Dear Thought-Full,


I'm not a teacher myself, but I used to pal around with a whole passel of professional educators. Once they sign that teaching contract, they cease to enjoy the entitlements of every other citizen in these United States. No Rapunzeling for them. They must hold in that steam like the boiler at the Overlook Hotel, but with no Jack Torrance to alleviate the pressure periodically.


Teachers enjoy no such thing as "their own time". They are always on the job, if not on the clock. Always on stage. Always representing the school district. Shopping on the weekend? They must double as goodwill ambassadors. Greet any patrons cheerfully. Politely decline discussing work-related issues. Grin and bear it if a young charge takes the chance meeting as an opportunity to fly the single-digit birdy, or catcall comments across the parking lot.


Any teacher sighting is fodder for the rumor mill. Renting movies in a facility that also offers adult fare? That teacher becomes a pr0n aficionado. Sip a cool one in the beer garden at the Labor Day picnic? That teacher is a well-known alcoholic. There's a long list of behaviors that are denied to educators, unless one is itching for a reprimand or dismissal.


Backroads Miz Manners hopes she has clarified the question of teachers and their constitutional rights. Please be advised that this is only the tip of the rights iceberg. Every year, teachers in titanic proportions forge full speed ahead into this obstacle. Some rules are made up as one goes along. But don't you worry about our public school educators. The minimum statewide starting teacher's salary in Missouri is $24,000. If one sticks it out, and continues to accrue college credits, that salary can improve. But don't be fooled by charts of "average" teacher salaries. Administrator salaries are included in those statistics, which skews the data to the high side.

Perhaps Backroads Miz Manners should not have revealed such insider information. We can't have the entire population flocking to college to become teachers, now can we?


Signed,
Backroads Miz Manners

4 comments:

Sioux said...

I used to volunteer my services as a pole dancer at various beverage-selling establishments (it's a great way to stay in shape) but got too worried I might encounter a parent or board member so--alas--I had to give it up.

When I retire, perhaps I'll take up dancing again...

Linda O'Connell said...

I respond to my name wherever I am. Signed up for a card at a casino and the woman said, "Here you go, Miss Linda."

I screeched, "Oh no! Did I teach you or your child?"

She backed away as she handed me my card.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I have said it before and I will say it again ....... there is not enough money in this universe for me to want to do your job!

That being said, expressing an opinion can get you in trouble with other lines of work, too. I recently made the mistake of expressing a political opinion in response to someone's choice of candidate. I fear that I will lose the business of this person. In my defense ..... he does tend to shove his opinion down my throat and he did it one time too many. I welcome a lively debate, but, give me some facts that you can back up and don't treat me like a simpleton just because I don't sgree with you.

Val Thevictorian said...

Sioux,
So many talents, so little time!

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Linda,
Well, let's hope we don't run into student bodies on the riverboats. I once ALMOST decked a frat boy in a casino for pulling my crank.

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Kathy,
That's good. Because nobody is going to offer you OR me even half the money in the universe.

At least there's always another customer coming down the pike. Perhaps to use the pool after dark, or bring in his own firewood, or reserve sites together for a megagroup, or perhaps just to sit a spell in your parking lot and let his kids play on your porch.