Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Saturday, June 25, 2011

You Can't Put it Back in the Tube

Is it possible to overdose on Mederma? I'm sure somebody knows that answer. I don't. And I'm too lazy to ask my best friend Google. I don't have an ulterior motive. I'm not planning to make a dramatic exit.

I use Mederma on my neck scar every morning. The one where my head was nearly severed last summer during my thyroid removal. It's not a bad scar, really. It's much smaller than my lateral meniscectomy scar, which clocks in at approximately six inches. This one seemed to heal faster. Maybe because there's a better blood supply to the neck than the knee. Or perhaps due to the Mederma. I'm only on my second tube. That's not bad for a whole year. I could probably stop using it now, but I've grown accustomed to it.

Normally, I squeeze out a tiny drop the size of a pinhead. A colored, round, pinhead on a pin that Rocky Dennis used in Mask, to mark the world map with places like Kathmandu, where he wanted to travel on a motorcycle with his best friend. Eric Stolz was a genius as Rocky, but I prefer him in Some Kind of Wonderful. Cool dude Sam Elliott, voice of Ben the male cow in Barnyard, was really smokin' in Mask. And I don't mean the wacky tobaccy. As far as Cher, well, she was better in Silkwood, telling Craig T. Nelson that she was really not interested in his shenanigans, so we all should have seen it coming when she hooked up with Angela, the beautician at Thayer's Funeral Home, who could tell which corpses worked for Kerr McGee because, "They all look as though they died before they were dead," as played by Diana Scarwid, later in the movie. Which reminds me. I was talking about my scar medication.

This morning an extra giant blob squirted out of my Mederma tube. It's not like I could put it back. I was stuck with it. And it seemed wasteful just to wash it off my hand. So I rubbed it in the scar, and the front of my neck, and the sides of my neck, and the upper chest area, and put a tad on a little brown spot on the side of my nose, and a smidgen on the rough spot under my right outer eye corner, and smoothed what was left onto my cheeks. There's sunscreen in that stuff, you know.

I'm just a bit leery because I remember reading about a teenage girl who overdosed on BenGay. I know it's true. I read it on the internet. And who would think that you can overdose on BenGay? Apparently there's an active ingredient common to aspirin, a salicylate, I think it's called, though that might not be the proper spelling because I'm too busy reminiscing about my favorite old movies to look it up. So if I give you bad overdose information, don't blame me. Blame Meryl Streep.

I wonder if too much Mederma might affect the thought process...


Sioux said...

Val--Have you ever considered switching Mederma for Ritalin? Rubbing a tablet in your mouth, and allowing it to dissolve, might also---oh! look at that albino newt on the television screen!--alter your thought process.

Silkwood: One of my favorites.
Sam Elliot: All he has to do is read the phonebook to set things on fire. Cher: I liked her in Mermaids better than Mask.

Now I'm off to find some BenGay. I'm intrigued...

Tammy said...

Hee hee. I too always wonder what to do with excess creams. But overdose on BenGay??!? This is particularly interesting to me because I just tried it for the first time after working in my yard the other day. Maybe the smell got her. Gak.

Val Thevictorian said...

Gosh, no. I haven't thought about Ritalin since some students who needed it got caught not taking it every morning, but stuffing it into an old sock, and then selling it to the kids who don't need it.

My son has advice for me when I get like this. Not so much advice as a smart-aleck comment: "OOH, SHINY!"

I must admit that I've only seen five minutes of Mermaids. Something distracted me. But it looked like a good movie. I remember Cher and Winona sitting around a kitchen table, I think. Which reminds me of a review of Girl, Interrupted that started with the headline, "Oscar, Intercepted."

Take it easy on that BenGay. It might be deadly.


The smell lingers long after the warming warmth has departed.

BECKY said...

I'd never heard of mederma. Too late for some of my scars! And, Sam Elliot! Whew! I'm with Sioux, just start talkin' baby! And Cher? Loved her in Moonstruck! "Snap out of it!"

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Since I am so late in reading this ..... how did it work on the face? You may be on to something. You know, Viagra started out as a drug to lower blood pressure and we all know where that pressure went and, voila, a side effect, and a whole new industry was born.

Ben Gay ..... just how much did she use? Or ..... exactly where did she apply it? Some tissue will absorb more readily than, say, the skin on your back. This is assuming it wasn't ingested.

Val Thevictorian said...

I hadn't heard of it until my thyroid surgeon recommended it. Walmart has it.

There's something about Sam... I have not seen Moonstruck, but I remember seeing that scene with Cher and Nic Cage many times in clips.


No harm, no foul. I think it kind of helps the scaly things heal. Apparently, that BenGay gal kept applying it to a large area on her legs, over several days, because of soreness from track practice.