Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I Have Just the Place for It

Linda at Write from the Heart has kindly bestowed upon my blog a lovely green award. How did she know that green is my favorite color?  I will now foist upon you seven facts about myself. Pay attention. There might be a quiz at the end of the quarter.

7 Facts About Val

1. For a year, I worked in an insurance salvage store. The bookkeeper later said she hired me because I looked clean. My work ethic impressed her so much that she gave me a nickel raise after the first month. Which did not fly well with the other employees, them seeing me as not yet having paid my dues. The place was rife with illicit affairs, backstabbing, power struggles, theft, embezzlement, revenge, hazing, unrequited love, trade secrets, off-site socializing, and attack dogs. A fictionalized memoir could practically write itself. I have no plans to write it.

2. I was once stranded on an Alaskan island, and had to be rescued by a four-seater plane that landed on water.

3. My idol is Dolly Parton. I find it amazing that she was born a nobody in the middle of nowhere, and made herself into a 950 million dollar force to be reckoned with. Did you know that Dolly dabbles in dinner theaters and amusement parks? Even if she was not a performing artist, she could make a healthy living off the rights to songs that she has written. Did you know Dolly wrote I Will Always Love You, and that the Whitney Houston version alone made her six million dollars in royalties? Or that Dolly provides free books for kids in certain communities each month from birth to the age of five? Or that when Porter Wagoner fell on hard times, Dolly bought the rights to all of his songs, and then sold them back to him for one dollar? I don't care how many people make fun of her most obvious attributes, Dolly is a class act.

4. Since childhood, people have told me I'm a funny gal. I'm hoping they mean funny ha, ha, not funny peculiar. Do you buy into that opposites attract theory? Because I seem to have married a man born without a funny bone.

5. My grandpa worked in the lead mines, and raised hogs on the side. It was not uncommon to spend a summer Saturday running barefoot in his yard, tossing hedgeapples into the sinkhole by the driveway, and poking at the severed hog head sitting on the concrete-block wall of the carport.

6. I have two grown stepsons and two growing sons. I pride myself on the fact that the toilet seats have always remained down. If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

7. I would rather be a follower than a leader, but when I am in a group, people expect me to be the one to speak. Customers in various stores accost me as if I am an employee, even though I wear no uniform, or even clothing that matches.

I would like to extend this award to any of my followers or commenters or readers, without pointing a specific finger. It's too good to keep to myself, on the mantle of one of my three electric fireplaces. Go on. Help yourself. It's free! You know you need a chance to tell your deep dark secrets, or brag that you can put your feet behind your head and walk across the floor on your buttocks. All you have to do is link back to me, tell seven things about yourself, and give the award to seven more people. Kind of like a scratch-off lottery ticket chain letter, but without the chance of winning cash.


Sioux said...

Val---I know that Julia Sugarbaker rant. Ray Don had hit on them.

Did you know that Elvis wanted to record "I Will Always Love You," but apparently it was his habit to buy the song, and Parton would not sell it to him. Who in their right mind would not sell it to Elvis Presley, but she didn't, and what a smart move that was.

I'd love to hear your story about being stranded on the Alaskan island. Perhaps a post sometime?

Congratulations on your award!

Val Thevictorian said...

I think that in a later episode, Ray Don showed up as an IRS auditor.

Yes, I had read that about turning down Elvis over the song rights. My Dolly is one smart cookie.

I might be able to share my castaway experience. But don't be expecting a volleyball named Wilson.

Tammy said...

Congratulations on your award! I've always admired Dolly Parton, too. That woman is nobody's fool. Have to tell you, though, Grandpa's carport sounds a bit Lord-of-the-Flies for me. That stranding does sound like a great story!

Linda O'Connell said...

Julia Sugarbaker, yes! There must be a bunch of us out there. I worked at a place like the one you did. Hog heads? huh-uh, not this girl but I eat ham, porksteaks etc.
Dolly knows her stuff. And so do you. Glad to get to know you better.

Val Thevictorian said...

Thank you. Now you've given me the idea for a Lord-of-the-Flies post.


I suppose we're living parallel lives. Except that you are much more talented and efficient. I would be the one snooping at your bulletin board!

Let's hope our behavior doesn't follow us in our permanent records, as Carlene worried about on Designing Women.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Stranded. Okay, you caught my attention. Has to be a follow up story here.

I have seen hogs butchered. I was in charge of shaving the skin. This is how I learned to get a nice close shave with a straight razor. A skill that served me well later on as a nurse in the ER.

Val Thevictorian said...

I never had you pegged as a pig-shaver. I suppose SOMEBODY has to make sure the pork rinds don't leave hairs between your teeth.

Sally said...

Hey Val, I was over at Donna's Book Pub and enjoyed your banter with Sioux so stopped over. I, too, am interested in the castaway story.

Val Thevictorian said...

Welcome! Now I'll just update my castaway post to show that it's by really, really popular demand!

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Congratulations on your award! I love Dolly, too--ever since the movie "Nine to Five" that she was in with Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and Dabney Coleman. She's the real deal. What a smart lady! I had no idea about Porter Wagner or Elvis. Wow.

I'd like to hear about your Alaska ordeal. Were you scared, or was it an adventure?

Val Thevictorian said...

Thanks. I LOVE "Nine to Five." I can even quote the dialogue, though that and four dollars will buy me a gallon of gas.

My favorite lines...Lily Tomlin about Jane Fonda, "We're gonna need a special locker for the hat."

And Dolly to Dabney Coleman, "I'm gonna get that gun of mine, and I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot!"

My island stranding in Alaska was both an adventure AND scary. It wasn't so much the stranding as the RESCUE from the stranding that made me anxious.