Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Chicken Pants for Thee

It was so hot today, our chickens were panting. They held their beaks half-open, enough that you could see their tongues. Either they were panting, or they were in awe of my presence. They come running the minute they hear a door open. Front door, basement door, garage door, car door...any old door will do. I confess to spoiling them with handouts. They are not picky chickens.

Their preferred treat is cantaloupe. If it doesn't split open when I toss it off the porch, they peck their way to the center. The seeds appear to be the most appealing to a chicken's taste buds. They also love cereal and bread and tortillas and strawberry tops and corn cobs. The chickens clean the cobs, then the goats get the rest. They are efficient garbage-disposing machines. We repay our fowl friends by stealing their eggs and depriving them of families. Too bad, so sad. That's what happens when you're born low down on the food chain.

If only they could be trained to partake of the Dolomedes tenebrosus before it reaches the house.




4 comments:

Sioux said...

Why train the chickens? Instead, train the unwitting spider. Train the spider to "haul" cantaloupe seeds (tape or tie the seeds to the back of the spider). The chickens will then take care of the rest...

I'm accepting your gratitude in advance!

Jen said...

What a good life your chickens must lead. Don't forget you repay them with food to their fancy which I am sure they must appreciate! NO wonder they pant in your presence. Cheers!

Linda O'Connell said...

dang! I need a chicken. Sounds like you have rotten ones, spoiled rotten. Have a great day.

Val Thevictorian said...

Sioux,
I am indebted to you for THE MOST SCATHINGLY BRILLIANT IDEA! I always enjoy quoting Hayley Mills speaking to her body double twin in the original Parent Trap.

That spider was big enough to haul the whole cantaloupe. When the chickens got done with their fruity treat, they would rip Spidey limb from limb from limb from limb from limb from limb from limb from limb. I also like to belabor a point.

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Jen,
The chickens lead TOO good a life. They get up on the porch and eat dry cat food out the persecuted cat's bowl.

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Linda,
Chickens are fun to watch, if you can keep dogs from eating them, and let them roam so their poop is absorbed into the grass. But today I was horrified to see a young rooster JUMP up and bite a bit off my lilac bush. That must be something he learned from the goats. Or maybe he saw a bug up there.