Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Ah, Vanity, the Toll You Exact

This morning I chugged through the satellite channels with my upstairs friend, the sluggish Dish Network remote. The receiver in the living room is so old that a caveman would feel comfortable using it. Plus, a caveman has that added bonus of a sloping forehead to thump that remote on when the buttons don't want to do his bidding. I, however, have to rely on my over-developed right thumb to coax those wayward numbers into beaming their infrared wavelength toward the Dish relic.

I won the battle of wills with the inanimate object, and settled on Turner Classic Movies. Normally, I descend through my channels until I hit two hours of Bernie Mac. Because that show simply cracks me up. But this morning, I happened upon a scene of blackmail, and woman-on-woman violence. and a mysterious hat-wearing dame who skulked in the shadows. My curiosity got the best of me. I couldn't turn away. But in a dramatic, heavily-scored pause, I checked the online guide. Yes, my receiver is so old, I don't even have a small window of the show playing when I check the guide.

A Woman's Place (1941) Joan Crawford, Melvyn Douglas, Conrad Veidt
Plastic surgery gives a scarred female criminal a new outlook on life.

At least that's what I thought it said. Within the last year, I've noticed that I sometimes need my glasses to read the TV screen clearly. Downstairs on the big screen, I don't have such a problem. The Dish receiver is more modern, and the screen is bigger. Plus, I can still watch the show while I check the guide. But I don't get downstairs until at least 2:00 on most days. I can fold laundry and wash dishes and cook and referee the boys' fights while I'm upstairs. And I can't wear my bifocals while doing those things. It's hard to give kids The Eye through a line on your glasses. So I left them off. I do it all the time at school. I see just fine except when reading up close, or when driving in an unfamiliar area.

The movie went on. I couldn't tear myself away. I kept supposing that the wife was going to get her comeuppance, or the criminal was going to marry the husband. Because I remembered the title being A Woman's Place. And everybody knows a woman's place is in the home. Right? I surreptitiously checked the guide again. Twice. Same thing. While the plot was sensational, it was not paying off in terms of the title.

When the credits started to roll, I saw the problem:

A Woman's Face.

5 comments:

Sioux said...

This reminds me of the Gilda Radner character on SNL (in the days when it was good!) who appeared on the news. Was her name Emily Latilla? She would raise hell, and then when she discovered her mistake, would say, "Never mind."

I'm glad you discovered your error.

Was it a good movie? Inquiring minds want to know.

Tammy said...

I can relate. Unfortunately.
http://messageinabloggletheartofbeingbroken.blogspot.com/2010/04/fun-with-infirmities.html

knancy said...

I don't think it was your mistake. I think the stupidos that word processed the TV guide did not input the name correctly and, of course, no one edited the final copy. I see crazy and unbelievably stupid typos all the time. Many are in papers and journals that should never have that low level of journalism. I read a paperback book recently (normally I read PDFs on line from the library)and the misspellings were so bad it was hard to enjoy the book.

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Hard to go wrong with that cast, even if the title bumfuzzled you. LOL My husband and kids get on to me all the time for not wearing my glasses. I've made similar "oopsies," usually with appointments written on the calendar.

Val Thevictorian said...

Sioux,
I was big fan of "Never Mind" Emily. The movie was suspenseful. Normally, I find the acting a bit over-the-top in these fifty-year-old black-and-white features. But his one was pretty good.

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Tammy,
That was hilarious. NEW BRA for NEW ERA.

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knancy,
While I love to point the finger at a good scapegoat, I take responsibility for my myopia in this instance. I see a plethora of misspellings on those news scrolling thingies at the bottom of the screen. Even when I wear my glasses.

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Lisa,
One of our students complained about how she had to slow down her car to almost a stop because of a lady crossing the road to her mailbox. She said, "I was so mad! It was getting dark. That lady was in danger of being hit by a car. Even fat people are hard to see at night in a brown sweatsuit." Then she got a little closer and saw that it was a cow.