Val is a Tough Taskmaster

There are some items which I have found necessary to outlaw from my classroom. They are not necessarily listed as prohibited in the student handbook. Still, I am the queen of my classroom, and my subjects must abide by the rules or be cast out until they can comply. I do not find the limitations to be unreasonable.

Items on Val's Classroom DoNot List:

Headphones, earbuds, earphones, etc. 
No matter what you call them, they are competition for Val's attention. Val is not hooked up to U.N. translator. That's because everyone in this school speaks the language of Val. No good can come of these not-listening-to-Val devices.

Blankets, pillows, stuffed animals.
We are not having a sleepover. We are having class. Bringing sleeping instruments will encourage you to nod off. Besides, who knows what you've got going on under that blanket. You could be sneaking a peek at your phone, or something more inappropriate. Wear a jacket if you're cold-natured. You don't see me strolling around with a quilt draped around my shoulders.

Bottles of water, soda, juice, Powerade, Gatorade, milk.
I don't think you will dehydrate in fifty minutes. Beverages can wait until after class. The handbook says no beverages outside the cafeteria. Who knows what you might have added? Bottles leak. Bottles make noise because you feel the need to squeeze them. My classroom is not a cool cafe where you hang out and chat with friends. It is a den of dry discussion where the thirst for knowledge is quenched with facts.

Oranges, apples, cupcakes, chips, sunflower seeds, ice cream, etc.
There is a time for lunch, and a time for class. Finish your feeding in the cafeteria. My classroom is not a movie theater. It is not dinner and a show. Don't think I can't smell you peeling an orange behind your big purse.

Big purses, backpacks, gym bags, limitations on:
They can come in, but they have to go under your desk. Do not clog up the aisles. Do not set it on your desk to obscure some clandestine operation. Nobody ever fishes their book, notebook, or pencil out of such a bag. It is just for show, and to bring in contraband. You're lucky this isn't the middle school. You would have your bag confiscated. Don't act like this is a new, cruel and unusual rule.

Perfume, cologne, nail polish, lotion.
Get ready at home. Don't let me catch you with smelly contraband. I will toss it in the trash. Nobody wants to smell your stuff for fifty minutes while we are confined in this classroom. I, especially, do not want to smell it for the rest of the day. It makes my nose run. It chokes me up. It's not permitted.

Various and assorted items that you think of later, to which I object.
Whatever you think up, I will disallow.

That's how Val rolls.