Dear Crabby, 4-26-11

Well, the weekend slipped by, and Dear Crabby was not in the house. But she's here now, ready and positively eager to take your questions. No inquiry is too small or too large. Dear Crabby is willing to devote her meager spare time to helping those with burning issues. Give her something to type about. Or gripe about.

Here's one to kick things off:

Dear Crabby, 
Is it true that you can't go home again?
Signed, Homebody

Dear Homebody,
Of course you can go home again. But please note that when you do, you will be suckered into a game of CatchPhrase with your sister, who will take her twenty-one-year-old daughter who owns the game as her partner, along with your sixteen-year-old son, leaving you with a seventy-seven-year-old woman and a thirteen-year-old boy, neither of whom are familiar with the Beatles hit "Hey, Jude," or the fact that "tassels" grow on the tops of ears of corn, or that Dolly Parton's first song was about her corncob doll, Little Tiny Tasseltop, and the only thing that will allow you to score ONE point all afternoon is that the thirteen-year-old knows that strippers wear tassels.

Dear Crabby awaits your questions.