Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Desperately Seeking Beaker

I have another blog that has served me well since 2005. It's a place where I let my hair down and babble endlessly about more personal matters than I share here. One thing puzzles me about my alternate blog universe. The stats reveal that most of my hits come from googling "beaker."

Those folks must be sorely disappointed to seek out "beaker," and land on my homespun corner of the internet. It would be different if I had a love for beakers, or used them for crafts, or had named one of my children "Beaker," or devoted the blog to my favorite Muppet. And how far down the Google hit list must my little blog lie? I mentioned a beaker in one post. One post in six years, to the best of my knowledge. So I don't think the people who land on that page will be returning. I don't serve their beakerish needs.

Today, the top two keywords that led people to that blog were "beaker" and "chemistry beeker." Makes you feel confident, doesn't it, that the scientific community is garnering valuable data from a blog written by Val's alter ego. And that the scientific community has spelling issues. Or maybe it's just middle school kids trying to do their vocabulary assignment.

The post that consistently draws people there, day after mysterious day, is titled The Beaker Calling the Erlenmeyer Flask. It resulted from my son, Genius, the son of a science teacher, mind you, confusing a beaker with an Erlenmeyer flask. The horror! It took me weeks to live down the catcalling from the other science teachers.

To make the blog matter more disturbing, I visited dear old Mr. Google myself. I typed in "Erlenmeyer flask." And up popped the auto list:

Erlenmeyer flask
Erlenmeyer flask deformity
Erlenmeyer flask bong
Erlenmeyer flask bones

Ain't that a kick in the head? People in need of identifying a proper Erlenmeyer flask can learn how to make a bong! And those looking for how to make a bong don't even know how to spell "bong." They think they're going to fire up their stash through Erlenmeyer flask "bones."

What a curious world we live in.

6 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Sometimes I click on the "next blog" icon just to see what sort of material matter my blog would be linked with. Usually it is a garden type. I suppose the pictures might have something to do with that?

Josh Hoyt said...

I was laughing the whole time I read this. Google is such a fun tool and obviously in this case so accurate:)

Tammy said...

I was a teeny bit impressed that the experts in Erlenmeyer flask bong-making #1 knew what it was and #2 presumably stopped working on that project long enough to remember how to spell it. But "Erlenmeyer flask bones" sounds way cooler to my non-scientific mind--like the name of a scary story. Or as Dave Barry would say, it would make a good name for a rock band.

Val Thevictorian said...

Kathy,
I am not brave enough to click "next blog." What freakish topic might link me? For instance, one of the leading searches that brought people to Val yesterday was "stepping on dead birdie." What kind of person googles THAT?
________________________

Josh,
Yeah, so accurate!
________________________

Tammy,
My alter ego has a garage band named Mommy's Got A Headache.

bettyl said...

That's a great post!! I often wonder how some search words are pointed to my blog, too!

Val Thevictorian said...

BettyL,
I keep waiting for "handbasket" to show up.