Is it nobler in my mind to suffer
Without wings or cole slaw from gas station chicken,
Or save gas by taking sick days from work,
As a manner of paying my contest fee?
Ay, there's the rub.
What should I deprive myself of in order to foot the bill for my contest entry? Do my children really need fast food every time they open their squawking beaks to clamor for it? Probably not. Do I need a 32 oz. fountain Diet Coke every day to the tune of $1.39? Probably not. Does Hick need money he skims from his weekly gas allowance for auction gewgaws? Definitely not.
Three value meals unfulfilled: $24
Eighteen less Diet Cokes, or having them only on weekends for three-and-a-half weeks: $25.02
Three hundred sixty miles per week, divided by twenty miles per gallon, is eighteen gallons, times four dollars per gallon, is seventy-two dollars, subtracted from Hick's weekly allowance of one hundred forty dollars: $68
Aww...who am I kidding? I'm not hurting for money. I have plenty squirreled away for just such emergencies as contest entries. I have a gas allowance too, you know. And I don't fritter my skimmings away on auctions. Nor do I have a weekly bowling habit that necessitates a fee and a meal, for which Hick is granted an extra twenty.
I might even enter twice this year. There's a discount, you know.
6 comments:
It sounds like you've set valuable priorities and established a good order of importance. Contest entry fee YES. Weekly bowling and auction fritter skimmings--NO. Good luck on getting in and getting on with that writing contest.
Val---
Maybe you should put those two young'uns of yours to work making some extra money. More money = more contest entry fees.
You could set them up at a roadside stand. There will be 2 covered bowls--kind of a Russian roulette with food poisoning as the "bullet." In one bowl will be your famous Chex Mix. In the other, your famous potato salad...that has been sitting out in the hot sun all day. People stop by, choose a container and take a chance.
It sounds like a real moneymaker.
Deprive yourself of those Cokes and I'm telling you, someone is going to feel your wrath. Hope you win!
I'm glad you've got your priorities straight. Good luck with the contest.
Jump in and do it, although I like to recommend contests associated with writers' conferences or sponsored by writing organizations. Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers has an annual contest for novelists, and Northern Colorado Writers sponsors a variety of contests, currently one for personal essay. Just Google those names to get to their websites.
Leenie,
Thanks for the good wishes. At least I get some writing ideas out of those auction skimmings. Like the time Hick almost bought me some auction meat. I asked what kind, and if it was about to reach the expiration date, and why anybody would sell perfectly good meat at an auction. And Hick replied, "I don't know. The box just said MEAT."
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Sioux,
It sounds like you have traveled down I-44 in the summertime, and noticed grape stands along the roadway. I used to work with a guy in Cuba, Missouri, whose kids had a grape stand to save money for college.
Something tells me they were not playing fast and loose with the lives of their customers. Of course, dead men tell no tales. So it might be feasible.
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Linda,
Maybe giving up the Cokes is not a good idea. But I still have my thyroid pills!
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Stephen,
I think I'm well on my way to weeding out non-necessities. I shall do my best to pull the wool over the judges' eyes again this year.
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Patricia,
Thanks for the tip!
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