I am a loving, caring spouse. Here now! Stop that guffawing. Reattach your posterior that you just laughed off. It's true. I'm all about pleasing my man.
So when I had a commercial lull during Double Jeopardy this afternoon, I grabbed the satellite remote and looked to see what was on tonight. There was one of Hick's favorite movies: O Brother. Where Art Thou. Really. Nothing better than a slick-haired George Clooney declaring, "We're in a tight spot."
Hick came in from goat- and chicken-tending and called down to see what channel his movie was on. Because there's no other way of garnering such information besides consulting the horse's mouth. Or The Pony's mouth, in this case.
The problem with Hick and technology is that he, like I, depends on Genius to program everything for him. So he has his own channel list called Dad's Channels with the how-to-murder-your-wife shows, and Swamp People, and Top Shot, and Pawn Stars, and American Pickers, and the Outdoor Channel. Oh, and TLC to get Doomsday Preppers and Hillbilly Handfishin'.
"Ask your mom what channel my movie is on."
"Dad wants to know what channel his movie is on."
"Go to 'My Channels'."
"Dad! Mom says to go to her channels."
"No! To 'MY Channels'!"
"She says to go to HER channels."
"NO! I'll do it myself!" I went to the bottom of the stairs. "Put the list on 'My Channels'. Emm wyyyyy. M, Y. C H A N N E L S. 'My Channels'. It's down from 132. I don't know which channel."
"I don't see it."
"Did you put it on 'My Channels'?"
"All Channels."
"NO! 'MY Channels'.
"Casablanca is on 132."
"DOWN from 132!"
"It's on 130!"
"Yeahhhhh. Isn't that down from 132?"
"You don't have to get smart."
Now pardon me, while I knock this one out of the park. Since he lobbed it up all high and outside, just where I like it. Itchin' to knock the cover off of it, over the right field fence...but under my breath, of course. Because I like nothing better than pleasing my man. And getting a good blog post out of it.
"I only wish you COULD get smart!" Shh...he didn't quite make that out. Which is probably for the best.
6 comments:
Love it when someone sends you a straight line right across the plate.
I see what you mean about being good to your man. ha!
Haha, see now this is exactly why I just stick with dvds from the library. It's in it's on, it's over, it's out. That much I can figure out!
Yes, those remotes are often difficult to work, when they are in the paws of clumsy, not-too-forward-thinking men. Thank goodness Genius takes after his mom in the intellect department.
I too mumble great truths under my breath and sometimes right out loud. First time my husband observed me talking sweetly to someone on the phone, he smiled at me. And then his mouth dropped when I mouthed MORON! He asked, "What do you say about me after we hang up?"
I smiled back at him.
Leenie,
I get them fairly regularly, from the same pitcher.
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Stephen,
Yes. I'm quite the catch.
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tattytiara,
Hick has trouble with dvds as well. He can't coordinate different remotes, or figure how to make it play, or adjust the sound. He requires assistance from children for that. Plus, I don't think he has ever set foot in the library.
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Sioux,
Well, bear paws are notorious for their lack of dexterity.
Of course Genius gets his smarts from me. But I grudgingly admit that his penchant for disassembling things and the ability to actually put them back together, or create new gadgets from the pieces, comes from Hick.
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Linda,
We can't let them discover ALL of our secrets!
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