Straight From the Puppy's Mouth

Hi! My name is Juno. Five weeks ago, I never would have imagined that I would be writing my very own blog post. In fact, I never would have imagined being alive right now. I was slowly starving to death. My insides were stuck together like the sides of a produce bag at Walmart. I had barely enough energy to sit up and look pitiful. That time is kind of foggy for me. I may have been lapsing in and out of consciousness.

One minute I was snuggled up next to my mommy and brothers, having a nap, and the next thing I knew, I was all alone beside a road. My people and my family were gone. GONE! I tried to catch a scent to follow them, but that's kind of hard for a three-week-old pup. I held up my nose and caught the faint smell of a person. I trotted toward it and wound up in the yard of a country house. I was kind of scared at first, but my tummy started to rumble, and I know that PEOPLE mean FOOD, so I sat on the front porch.

A LADY came out and said, "Oh, no!" She scurried past me to her garage. I followed her, but she didn't pet me. She said, "Shoo! Go on home!" I sat down until she turned her back. Then I ran after her. Gosh darn if all the lights didn't go out then. The LADY put a plastic cooler over me and drove away in her car. It was dark under that cooler. So I didn't move. I couldn't go anywhere, anyway. Coolers are supposed to have snacks and drinks in them, aren't they? Not puppies.

After a long time, the LADY came back and let me out. She said, "Shoo!" again. I wondered if that was my new name. The LADY went inside the house. I sat down at the door to wait for her to come out again. I could hear her moving in there. I could smell food.

That night, I got really cold. I had nobody to snuggle with. The LADY stayed inside. I laid on her welcome mat by the door, shivering. The next morning, the LADY opened up part of the door and looked at me through the glass. "Oh, no, " she said. Again. I sat there patiently all day, but nothing happened until around 4:00. I saw somebody at the edge of the LADY's yard, taking her mail. I barked and barked. Nobody's going to steal mail from MY new LADY. That thief hustled around the side of the house. At the last minute, I caught the scent. The thief was the LADY! What a trickster! She really had me fooled. I hoped she saw what a good guard dog I was. But all that barking made me weak. It had been a whole day since I ate anything. I left the porch for just a minute to go over to the creek and get a drink. Water is not very filling.

My second night at the LADY's house, I shivered on the mat again. And again, the next morning, she peeped out. But she wouldn't come play. No matter how much I whined or wagged my tail. At least I got another whiff of her food. My tummy had just about given up on ever having anything inside it again. I was really, really tired. I laid down on the mat and sighed. A nap sounded good.

Then a red truck pulled into the driveway. A BOY got out and came up on the porch. He saw me and laughed. He squatted down to pet me. (I LOVE HIM!) I did my best cute puppy act. It was hard, because I was so weak. The BOY went in the house. I heard him talking to the LADY. I whimpered, put nobody came out. Time to take things into my own paws. I went around the side of the house, where I could look in and see the BOY and the LADY. The BOY came out and laughed some more. He told me to follow him. It was really hard, because of my weakness, and because of some steps. I stumbled and crawled and followed the BOY while he made a movie of me on his phone. Maybe I was going to be famous.

The BOY left after about an hour. But the LADY came out on the porch. She set down a Cool Whip bowl full of milk. I LOVE MILK! I thought I had died and gone to Heaven!. I could barely get my head over the side, but I lapped up that milk like there was no tomorrow. And then, the LADY brought out a paper plate covered with bread soaked in bacon grease. Nom nom nom! And you know what was even better? While I was stuffing myself, that LADY went and got the cooler, and set it on its side right by the door, and put in a soft, soft afghan for me to lay on. It was the best night ever! My full tummy was toasty warm on that afghan.

The LADY and I passed another day like that. She never petted me, but she brought out food and said, "Here you go." A day after that, my new mommy came to get me. She didn't know she was my new mommy yet. She was checking me out. Everybody kept calling me "he," even though a little kid should have been able to see that I was a girl. When NEW MOMMY saw me, she said, "That's a girl!" I think NEW MOMMY is some kind of genius.

I was on my best behavior for NEW MOMMY. My life depended on it. I sat down at her feet and looked into her eyes. She reached down to pick me up, and held me on her chest. I laid absolutely still. Love me, NEW MOMMY. Love me. Please. She petted me. I did not squirm at all. She was all cushy and warm and talked sweet to me. ( I LOVE HER!) Hey! A new BOY was in her car. Come and play with me, NEW BOY! He did not want to pick me up. But he squatted down and patted my head. I wiggled and licked his hand. I want to be part of their pack!

You know what? NEW MOMMY and NEW BOY took me in their car, in a cage. I was kind of scared at first, because I could not see out. But I could hear them talking, and I had my afghan that LADY sent with me so I could smell it. We got to my new home after a long time. Some big dogs there ran away from me. I can't figure out why they don't like me.

So here I am with one of my new cat brothers. He likes to creep in and eat my food, so I growl at him. Which NEW MOMMY says is The. Cutest. Thing. Ever. She's kind of dramatic like that. My NEW BOY took this picture with his phone. He had to get his big human foot in there, with those freaky long toes that sure are tasty. But he swats me away when I try to chew on them.

On weekends, I get to run around the yard and porch. But at night, I sleep in my own room. It's kind of high off the ground. I think rabbits used to live in it. I have a play-yard with a wire floor. I'm sure glad to be in there at night. I hear animals that I don't even recognize, howling and stalking about. My afghan is soft and warm. I have food and water in my room. I have to stay in there on weekdays, because hawks swoop around and their shadows scare the chickens into squawking. I'm smaller than a chicken, so I'm kind of scared, too. But in the evening, my people let me out and play with me. I hear them talking about leaving me out when I get a little bigger.

This is the best life ever!