Who Put the Lettuce in My Salad?

I have a confession to make. I cheated Hardee's out of $2.98. Plus tax. Shh...I don't know if I could handle a stint in the county jail. Or work on the chain gang, weed-eating the highway right-of-ways. I'm soft. Can't stand the heat. So I need to stay out of the kitchen. The kitchen that makes two taco salads and sells them to me for the 2/$5.00 price I quoted at the drive-thru from the coupon I said that I had. Which I DID have, but forgot to hand over with the money. Accidentally.

I told The Pony on the way home, "Oops! There's that coupon still in my pocket. I forgot to give it to the girl. I feel bad." The Pony did not reply. I interpreted that as acceptance for my scofflaw ways.

Karma has a way of Even-Stevening my sometimes socially-unacceptable antics. Once home, I put one of the salads in the refrigerator for Hick's supper. The other salad, my lunch, was accessorized with a drizzle of Frank's Red Hot Original Hot Wing Sauce, and a dollop of Save-A-Lot Senora Verde Mild Salsa. Then I chowed down.

Much to my dismay, the lettuce at the bottom of the taco salad was...LETTUCE! Not shredded. Large, leafy, LETTUCE! You could have plopped an infant in that leaf and called Anne Geddes to commemorate the occasion.

Or used two of them for a bun in a Hardee's Low-Carb ThickBurger.

But they did not belong in my one-pocket-discount taco salad. It's attention to detail that this generation lacks. Big lettuce = burgers. Little lettuce = taco salad. Somebody make up a poster and market it to Hardee's/Red Burrito franchises. Because I would hate to see this calamity befall any other unsuspecting taco-salad eater who can not complain because she stiffed the company $2.98. Plus tax.

I was so incensed that I swore I would never buy a taco salad from Hardee's again. Until I remembered that I still have a 2/$5.00 coupon.