How "The Help" Cost Me $522.24

I arose a half hour early today, all excited about seeing The Help. I know it opened August 10. Today was the earliest I could work it into my busy schedule. My mom rearranged lunch plans with my sister so she could go with me. The Pony had no choice. We put off picking up his 8th grade schedule until afternoon, just so we could go to the first showing at 10:00 a.m. Genius called after getting his own schedule, and said that he, too, would like to see The Help, and that he would meet us at the theater at 9:30. We go early to get the seats we like. In the back. Four to a row, so people don't crawl over us. Not that we expected a big crowd so early on a weekday. Besides, school starts Monday, and I won't have time to go after the next few days.

Our little convoy lined up in the parking lot. It's a twenty-mile trip from my house to the movies. A little shorter for my mom. We sent The Pony to see if the doors were open. Not yet. They said it would be ten or fifteen minutes. A van arrived with two women. "They look like Helpers", I said. "I hope they aren't here early to get our seats." Another car arrived. A woman went around front to the door. "We'll see if she gets in. She looks like a Helper, too." That woman came back. She got in her car and left. My mom thought maybe she was buying her ticket for a later showing.

After fifteen minutes had passed, my mom went to see if the doors were open. No. The women in the van told her they would open at 10:00. That's what the manager told them when they checked. We waited. We wondered why the doors would open at 10:00 if the movie started at 10:00. That's poor business practices. The workers were there. The audience was there. I'll be gosh-darned if I'm going to miss the previews and the movie to buy overpriced popcorn and soda. Good thing I brought my kids, to stand in line for me. Normally, this place opens thirty minutes before the first movie starts.

FINALLY, the manager opened the door and motioned invitingly. The van Helpers out-hoofed us. As we walked in, the manager asked what we were there to see. "The Help!"

"Oh, that's a problem. We don't have The Help."

"I checked your website for the time. It says you have The Help!"

"We were supposed to have The Help. But our distributor pulled it."

"Then you should get it off your website."

"Maybe you can watch something else."

"No."

We left. Genius has already seen the Harry Potter, and The Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I had no desire to see Captain America or Cowboys and Aliens. I was not happy. We drove all that way for nothing. While we were in a town with two shoe stores, I took the boys for school shoes. From there, Genius went to pick up school supplies for himself. The Pony and I went to pick up his schedule, and then his own school supplies and some clothes. Genius called to ask if he could spend the leftover money on lunch. The Pony had eaten no breakfast, so he needed lunch.

When I tallied the receipts, and added in the wasted gas for the movie trip, I was out $522.24 for The Help. Good thing I'm a teacher and make the big bucks.