Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Sunday, April 29, 2012

An Unwritten Wardrobe Rule of a Typical Seventeen-Year-Old Boy

Genius popped into my office a few moments ago.

He had just noticed a shirt that has been hanging across the back of the short couch since last Sunday. That's the kind of housekeeper and laundress that I am. No need to put a shirt away if it's going to be worn within two weeks. Criminy! That's how you wear a path in your carpet. The shirt is knit, with a slight v-neck, in alternating dark purple and heather puple wide bands. Purple is our school color.

"What's that shirt laying on the back of the couch?"

"That's The Pony's new shirt."

"I like it."

"It came from Walmart. Go get one for yourself."

"But The Pony already has one."

"So? They come in different colors. Blue. Green."

"My friend has one just like it."

"What color is his?"

"Purple. Just like that."

"But his school colors are red and white."

"When he wore it, a girl told him he looked like Freddy Krueger."

"So now you don't want one."

"No. Because The Pony has one."

It's not like I'm going to decree that they both wear an identical shirt on the same day. Or take an awkward family photo and send it out as our Christmas card. They don't even attend school in the same building. Their schools are on opposite sides of town. Genius drives. The Pony rides with me. And Genius is long gone when The Pony gets off the bus at my school in the afternoon. As are all of the high school students who know Genius.

Do you follow me here? Genius doesn't want a shirt because his brother has one. Not because girls might think it makes him look like Freddy Krueger.

My little Pony. More repulsive than a serial killer with knife-blade fingers who kills you in your dreams.


There's no accounting for the wardrobe preferences of seventeen-year-old boys.

6 comments:

Tammy said...

I know a lot of teenagers who would consider that Freddy Krueger thing to be a plus.

Sioux said...

At least he wears a shirt. My son resisted being an RA at college for two years because if he was a Residential Advisor, he'd have to wear a shirt.

Yes, teenaged boys are odd animals. But be patient. In 5 or 6 years, their frontal lobe will be fully developed and they will act within the normal range...

Mrs. Tuna said...

Brother cooties, the worst!!!!

Linda O'Connell said...

Be glad, very glad that you have boys. Girls are far worse about wardrobe.

Donna Volkenannt said...

Teenage boys are a mystery.
I think a switch goes off when they hit their teens.

Val said...

Tammy,
Yes, we have that faction at school. Some even construct those blade fingers out of paper.

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Sioux,
Genius had taken to wandering around without a shirt upon arising on weekend mornings. At the crack of noon.

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Mrs. Tuna,
I noticed that on Sunday, when The Pony was away, and the job of collecting towels, washcloths, and pillowcases fell to Genius. He carried The Pony's SpongeBob pillowcase between finger and thumb like it was rife with bubonic plague. I'm surprised he did not request a HazMat suit.

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Linda,
I cannot imagine dealing with my own personal girls. The ones at school have made me that way. Boys are much simpler. As Sioux says, like big ol' bumbling bears.

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Donna,
The switch that makes every word out of my mouth the most ignorant thing they have ever heard. Such as suggesting that Genius buy himself a shirt that he likes.