Is it nobler in my mind to suffer
Without wings or cole slaw from gas station chicken,
Or save gas by taking sick days from work,
As a manner of paying my contest fee?
Ay, there's the rub.
What should I deprive myself of in order to foot the bill for my contest entry? Do my children really need fast food every time they open their squawking beaks to clamor for it? Probably not. Do I need a 32 oz. fountain Diet Coke every day to the tune of $1.39? Probably not. Does Hick need money he skims from his weekly gas allowance for auction gewgaws? Definitely not.
Three value meals unfulfilled: $24
Eighteen less Diet Cokes, or having them only on weekends for three-and-a-half weeks: $25.02
Three hundred sixty miles per week, divided by twenty miles per gallon, is eighteen gallons, times four dollars per gallon, is seventy-two dollars, subtracted from Hick's weekly allowance of one hundred forty dollars: $68
Aww...who am I kidding? I'm not hurting for money. I have plenty squirreled away for just such emergencies as contest entries. I have a gas allowance too, you know. And I don't fritter my skimmings away on auctions. Nor do I have a weekly bowling habit that necessitates a fee and a meal, for which Hick is granted an extra twenty.
I might even enter twice this year. There's a discount, you know.