Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

They Really Shouldn't Have

Who doesn't love an unexpected gift?

Maybe it's a magnet that your buddy picked up in Mexico. Or a ceramic deviled-egg dish with a lid shaped like a hen. A mini notepad for jotting down ideas. A box of Crunch 'n' Munch for a shut-in. A horse calendar for an equine aficionado. A glass cake plate for an elder's china cabinet.

But sometimes, an unexpected gift is creepy. Like a dead bird propped up in praying position over the morning newspaper that an apartment neighbor steals each morning, reads, and returns.

I was the recipient of an unexpected gift this morning. My cats left it for me. It was not their usual present of a mouse butt. Nor even their most exotic token of affection, the severed squirrel head. No, this one was different.

Vomit clusters.

I'm no stranger to the vomit clusters. They are sometimes evident on the garage floor if the other cats have not fought over them for a snack. Today's vomit clusters were not on the garage floor. They were on the windshield of my black Tahoe, just under the windshield wipers, on that little grid thingy that may suck in or blow out air. No re-gifting for these vomit clusters.

I am in a quandary as to how best dispose of my gift. I can't reach that far across the car to grab them. Not that I would, anyway. Even with rubber gloves. I can't poke them with a stick, because they'll break. No spearing or stabbing. I can't scoop them off with my long ice scraper, because they will crumble down into that air grid thingy.

Being late for my morning commute already, I chose to contemplate my choices while on the way to work. I figured my vomit clusters would be none the worse for wear after baking in the sun all day. Kind of like mud pancakes. Only fluffier. Nobody stole them while I was in school. They rode home while shedding nary a morsel of their regurgitated goodness. I parked them back in the garage. Short of a cat eating them overnight, I am no closer to a solution than I was this morning.

Any suggestions?

6 comments:

Sioux said...

Vomit clusters? Is this a down-home term for hairballs?

Linda O'Connell said...

Send a kid out to retrieve the mess and disect them with your science class.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Cat yak is tricky, if you try to remove it too soon after the event, it is too wet and smeary. Too late and it will be too crumbly and break into tiny particals and fall down into those intake vents. Best to be removed while in a semi-dry solid state.

I say put the Pony on yak removal! And perhaps you should put some sort of cover on the windshield to prevent future events?

Val said...

Sioux,
No. It's the down-home term for clumps of partially-digested dry cat food with the consistency of Peaches and Cream Quaker Instant Oatmeal. Shame on me for not painting a word picture.

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Linda,
That's not a bad idea. Except that my biology class is five days away from the great and terrible EOC test. So there's no time for fun things, activities they might do later in life.

Criminy! I'm still arguing with my physics class over Earth Day. They think that making a dirt cake would be a good way to observe such an important holiday. And by "dirt cake" they mean crushing up some Oreos and putting gummi worms in there.

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Kathy,
Quite the analysis of vomit clusters. HOWEVER...all's well that ends well. Last night, one of the five barfers ate that cat yak off the windshield. It's pristine once again. Except for the tiny paw prints.

knancy said...

OMG! Kathy you are a specialist in cat yak - I am totally impressed. This has to be the grossest blog post I have read for awhile, but also the funniest. Then, again, I have a medical background and we have a weird sense of humor. I think we laughed at things no "normal" person would just to keep from crying or going crazy at what we had to deal with. (Prep on end of sentence just for you Ms. Blog owner).

Val said...

knancy,
Prep ender duly noted. And approved of.