Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Monday, February 13, 2012

You'd Think I Would Have More to Show for It

My record as a blogging snow-day meteorologist stands at 1-0. I nailed it. We were out today, and have already called off for Tuesday. A four-day weekend for one Val Thevictorian! And I didn't even have fancy-schmancy radar and analog data for fine-tuning my prediction.

Here's the way things went down. I arose at 4:50 a.m. and saw no sign of snow. That was okay. Because it wasn't supposed to get here until 9:00. So I turned on the TV to check out those other meteorologists, then set about making The Pony's lunch. I jumped in the shower and prepared myself for school. Monday is duty day, you know. No dilly-dallying on Monday mornings.

After a cursory cruise through the three local stations, I settled back in my recliner for a chair nap. All that sleeping every night simply wears me out. Earlier this year, I would have kept my eyes glued on the bottom of the screen, eagerly awaiting my reprieve. But I am jaded now. Jaded by the abduction of Old Man Winter. That old geezer must have been lured away by naughty La Nina.

Just before dropping my last eyelid for some shut-eye, I thought I saw one of the big three schools from the other end of the county. Pshaw! It was most likely wishful thinking. I drifted off to dreamland. Ten minutes later, the home phone rang. I startled awake. I knew it wasn't my mom with our 6:00 a.m. chatfest. The clock read 5:45. I answered, to hear the electronic stutter of our automated phone system proclaim that inclement weather was denying our students their free public education for the day. A few minutes later, the actual live-person phone-tree call came in on my cell. That meant that I had to crawl out from under my cozy comforter and look up the next number on the inside of my pantry door. You'd think someone so adroit at sailing the electronic-gadget seas would simply store that number in her cell phone. You'd think.

With the heavy lifting of my snow day duties complete, I sank back into the recliner, gave my mom a quick call, and caught another thirty minutes of sleep. The boys snoozed on. At 8:00, I woke them to say I was going to town for a Diet Coke from the gas station chicken store. No need to be snowed in without my giant cask of caffeine. I offered to pick up some breakfast. They both agreed. Though neither volunteered to ride along.

I gave Juno a thorough petting, then started for town. Halfway down the county road, snowflakes began to fall. Strange, compact snowflakes were they, floating down onto my car hood, where they bounced and lay like ice pellets. I made it back home in forty-five minutes with the grub and my beverage. Snow continued to spit throughout the morning.

At 1:00, Genius announced, "This snow day has been a bust! There is NOTHING on the ground. And what fell earlier has melted!" I shushed him forthwith. And by 3:45, he was dragging me upstairs to see the hamster-sized flakes falling at a rapid clip.

Hick drove his $1000 Caravan to work. He says it gets the best traction. Probably due to the studded snow tires, which cost more than the van. He made it within five miles of home before he was delayed by the local game warden's wife sideways on a hill. Thirty minutes later, his path was clear. Hick declared that we would not have school on Tuesday. The roads were that slick. Looks like he's got a little psychic in him, because at 6:00, I saw on Channel 2 that we had indeed called off for Tuesday. The two phone calls came shortly thereafter.

As for my day of sitting on my ample behind at home, rather than sitting on my ample behind at school...I submitted my Erma Bombeck entry. Yes. In true Val fashion, I waited until the day before the deadline. My entry is titled: A Jill of Two Trades. Of course I can't tell you what it's about. A lady reveals nothing, remember. Haven't we covered this before? The wisdom we learned from A League of Their Own?

If you'll excuse me, I need to draw up a list of tasks to pointedly ignore tomorrow. On my snow day.

8 comments:

Josh Hoyt said...

Nice job on the prediction. We haven't had a snow day hear for years. Of course where I live we never have snow days, not for the lack of snow, just because it is always there :)

Sioux said...

I have snow envy. I had school yesterday and it looks like I will today as well.

Be extra slothful today, so vicariously, I can enjoy the day...

Linda O'Connell said...

Happy whatever, I am off to school to conduct a Valentine's day party for hyped up preschoolers. Enjoy your chair, Val.

irishoma said...

We got snow here, but school still is in session.
Granddaughter was happy school wasn't cancelled. She has a field trip for FBLA (to a mall, which is just up her alley) and my grandson is home sick. Yesterday we went to the doctor and today he's home because he had a fever yesterday. The good news is no flu or streph, just your average bronchitis with other unmentionable symptoms.

Donna

labbie1 said...

Happy snow day and VD all rolled into one! What a nice present from Old Man Winter and la Nina huh? Have a good one!

Val said...

Josh,
I'm eagerly awaiting the flood of offers I get to appear on television news broadcasts. A record such as mine is hard to beat.

*************
Sioux,
Is it time to get up yet? I feel quite well-rested. One of the perks of living in Backroads.

*************
Linda,
Eek! That's one of my worst nightmares! Other people's itty bitty kids, whipped into a frenzy by visions of a holiday party dancing in their heads all night. And then there's the SUGAR issue.

If that dude on a commercial can marry bacon, can I marry my chair?

************
Donna,
Thank goodness the mall trip was not canceled! Hope the big little fella gets to feeling better soon.

************
labbie,
It's been a very special birthday weekend for me this year. The Pony, however, is upset that he will be attending school Wednesday on HIS birthday.

Josh Hoyt said...

You won't get any offers because you are too good. Real weather people only get it right like 25% of the time that's why they have the jobs. If they got it right all the time then they would be out of their jobs lol

Val said...

Josh,
Yeah. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's self-esteem.