Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Sound of One Shoe Slapping

First, it was my eyesight. Who can forget my unfortunate Ming vase faux pas? In case your answer was, "Um. ME," please allow me to supply you with the concrete evidence.

Now, a paltry three days after my birthday, another sign of aging has reared its ugly head.

This morning I was watching the local news, gloating a bit, reveling in my SnowDayness, feeling not one whit of compassion for teachers in ritzy school districts outside of Backroads. You know. Those who had to attend school as usual today. The anchor man led into a story about MoDOT workers inspecting the roads last night. "MoDOT employees checked out the roads in flip-flops throughout the night-time hours."

What's this all about? Can MoDOT workers not afford proper footwear in winter months? I used to be a state employee. I know the salaries are not comparable to private industry. But as Al Mangelsdorf told me when I interviewed for the position, "We seem to have a holiday every time the sky is cloudy. Next week we're off for Columbus Day." Maybe those workers are willing to scrimp on snow boots in order to reap the benefits of twelve paid holidays, plus ten hours of sick leave and ten hours of vacation time every month. That's what we used to get, anyway, at the Missouri Division of Employment Security. But I could still afford footwear. Matching shoes, too! Not like our office counselor, Diana, who wore one brown shoe and one black shoe. But enough reminiscing.

Genius arose at 9:15. That's because he was rounding up his posse to go out to lunch at a local Mexican eatery. Isn't that what we all think about at 9:15 in the morning? "You're not going to believe this, but I swear that guy just said the MoDOT workers were out last night, inspecting the roads in flip-flops!" He gave me that pitying look reserved for old people who annoy him with their backwards ways. Mainly used for me and Hick.

So there I was, picturing those hardy MoDOTTies traipsing about the slushy streets in flip-flops, much like my old college friend, Lynne, who never wore any shoe besides blue Nike flip-flops, winter, spring, summer, fall. To each her own. Then the anchorman said it for the third time.

"MoDOT found few slick spots on the main roads." They were looking for slick spots! Not checking in flip-flops! That's a bit embarrassing. Genius even cracked a smile. I think he might have snorted. But that could have been some type of freaky, foreshadowing emission related to his upcoming $12.00 nacho feast.

I'm turning into Emily Litella.

5 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Flip-flops, slick spots. All the same .....

Sioux said...

Yes, Emily...Never mind.

Linda O'Connell said...

Must be a sign of the times. Blog friend Lisa said she came oit of the theatre and searched the glove compartment and everywhere for her sunglasses. She had them on her face through the entire movie!
I was kicking Bill's butt in Wii bowling, jumped up to cheer and kicked a hand weight on the floor and broke my toe. It's a sign of the times, I'm telling you.

Josh Hoyt said...

Government is a great place to work especially in the schools. I can't wait to get my first summer vacation. and watch out for the flip flops as you drive the roads at night :)

Val said...

Kathy,
Well, I'm not sure I want slick spots on my feet all day.

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Sioux,
Now I know why she got so worked up.

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Linda,
I draw the line at breaking a bone. I will wear my sunglasses through the movie until the cows come home, but I will not (heh, I first typed wiil not) expend extra energy to gloat after a Wii game, and risk breaking a toe. Karma, you know.

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Josh,
Then you can write a report about what you did on your first summer vacation. May it be filled with many flip-flops. I mean your vacation, not your report.