Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Backroads Miz Manners: Youth is the New Excuse

Dear Backroads Miz Manners,


Since when did parking lots cease to become places to park cars? This morning, as I attempted to find a spot in the lot of the local Walmart Supercenter, a young girl darted out in front of my large SUV. Her mother grabbed her hand, and proceeded to drag her in front of my two-thousand-pound vehicle as if they had the right-of-way. It just so happened that the place they were in a hurry to get to was the very parking place I was turning into. It was a prime location, right next to the cart return. Her husband and another man already stood in it. They had the good sense to back up against a pickup hood when they saw my signal. But mom and daughter strolled into the space, then turned and looked at me like I had two heads when the men told them to watch out.


THEN, they proceeded to inch over onto the side yellow line that marked the parking space. I was halfway in, thinking they were getting out of my way, but had to abort, lest I crush the toes of those dimwitted idiots. I removed my vehicle from temptation, and cruised to the food end of the store to a less desirable slot.


Was there a memo that I missed about pedestrians holding sway over drivers in a parking area?


Signed,
Baffled in Backroads

*********************************************************
Dear Baffled,

There was no memo. Today's adults under the age of thirty were born knowing that they are very special, and the world will bend over backwards to accommodate them. Cars will stop in their tracks rather than pulverize them. Planes will refuse to fly until they board. Teachers will "recalculate" grades if their offspring forget to turn in a major assignment. Likewise, a project that is completed without following the proper instructions will be graded over, once Mommy calls the teacher to report that it was HER fault, not little Fauntleroy's, because she could not find time to go to the store over those four weeks to buy paper or fabric or clay or paint or twigs or rocks or weeds or grasses, and the child should not be penalized, but should be graded AS IF he had followed all the rules the other kids followed who turned their work in on time, rather than having their sister build it of Legos the night after it was due.

Those lot squatters believed they were being perfectly reasonable. Because everyone but you, Baffled, understands that the middle of an awkward ballet of heavy machinery is the best place to chat up old friends. They allowed you space to do your thing. If a few toes were inadvertently amputated in the process, so be it. Your insurance would cover it, and they would be set for life. Especially if it was the youngster who lost use of her complete set of ten phalanges.

The sooner you understand that life is skewed in favor of the young, the less baffled you will be.

Signed,
Backroads Miz Manners

11 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

These must be the same folks who decided that the middle of a shopping aisle is a great place for a fmily reunion. These are the same people who want to rent a space for a holiday weekend and then invite everyone they know to come out and visit and swim here, after all, they paid for the spot and theextra 35 people are here to enjoy it with them .......

Stephen Hayes said...

The world can be a baffling place, like you say, if you don't understand this simple premise you've pointed out.

Curmudgeon said...

Cute blog. I keep little hash marks on my truck for pedestrians. I repaint my truck every year after Christmas shopping.

Sioux said...

Dear BMM,

It is not only the young who enjoy the ITETTR (I'm The Exception To The Rule) clause of life.

It is also the wealthy, Peter Pan-like middle-aged people who are thin, believe they are still sexy or breathtakingly handsome, and wear and carry design EVERYTHING. Watch out for this species in airplanes you travel on. They can make trips unpleasant for the frumpy, the fat and the floudering among us...

irishoma said...

Yikes! I don't know what's funnier (or is it more funny) your post or the responses.

I'm baffled too. It amazes me how young men and women under 30 expect me to hold open doors so they can walk through because--well that's their right--then do not have the courtesy to say thank you.

I feel your pain.

Val said...

Kathy,
Yes. I think that's them.

**************
Stephen,
Forewarned is forearmed. You have to know what you're dealing with.

**************
Curmudgeon,
I can tell from your name that we're kindred spirits!

**************
Sioux,
Miz Manners would not dream of venturing into the land of well-to-do ITETTRs without sharpening her tongue and stashing a flask of nerve-calmer somewhere under her ample, ankle-length, gingham skirt.

Val said...

Donna,
Youth is wasted on the young. That's what I always say.

Another thing I always say is, "Let me out of SPAMland." I left a comment the other day on your Punny Stuff post, but later it had disappeared. I've been having this problem on a couple of blogs again lately. You'd think I was offering people grand sums of cash from foreign lands. :)

labbie1 said...

I have noticed this kind of thing and not just with people under 30! It's crazy, I tell ya! Crazy out there!

Val said...

labbie,
Dagnabit! We need Sheriff Andy Taylor to come in and straighten things out!

Josh Hoyt said...

Awesome. Thanks for the advice I had never gotten this memo and am much wiser now that I have received it. I appreciate this very much. Next time some youngster is walking slowly across the street not a care in the world as I wait I will be much more patient and understanding. Thanks!!

Val said...

Josh,
See! That's how the young THINK the world works. Should you accidentally have a brake pedal malfunction, the young may acquire a better grasp on reality.