Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Best Chip Ever

Our cafeteria served up a taco concoction yesterday that looked more like a quesadilla. Along with it, they provided tortilla chips and salsa. Since the price of a teacher lunch increased dramatically, we have been on an unofficial strike. School lunches on our table appear once in a blue moon. One colleague paid the $2.80 extortion fee. She was sorely disappointed with her tortilla chips.

Lucky for her, I had packed a ziploc bag with just that foodstuff. "Here. Try some of mine. They're great." She demurred at first, then acquiesced. I shook some onto her tray.

"Hey, these are good! Where did you get them?"

"Save A Lot. I meant to bring the triangle chips, but I picked up the wrong bag this morning, and they were already open, so I've got the circular ones."

Another sister-in-arms showed up. "What's that?" She's the one who told my son that I was feeding her grapes every day. Technically true, but without the toga and palm frond connotation.

"Here. You might as well have some of these with the grapes."

"Mmm. Where did you get these?"

We discussed the merits of various generic tortilla chips. I promised to bring the bag the next day, so they could see what it looked like, in the event that they made a shopping trip to Save A Lot.

Today I brought in the bag, still half full. We passed them around the table. Again, compliments were given to the chef: Senora Verde. Goldilocks herself would have decreed these chips, "Just right." I held up the bag. And saw that the Use By date was Sep 4 2011.

I had been feeding them five-week-old tortilla chips while they swooned over the salty goodness.

In fourth hour, one of the kids asked, "I don't mean to be rude, but what was the deal with you teachers and those chips you were passing around?"

"Oh, those? They are just the best chips EVER! We couldn't get enough of them. Funny thing...they expired on September fourth."

He nodded. Like a tableful of teachers chowing down on expired chips like there was no tomorrow was a perfectly feasible scenario.

You don't know whether to laugh or cry.

8 comments:

Linda O'Connell said...

Could have been worse! A friend got salted red peanuts fresh from Sears candy counter years ago and found a red roach. Okay, see, I told you it could be worse.

labbie1 said...

I go with laugh! Most of those things have so many preservatives that their half life is something like 20 years anyway. LOL Now, if you found a mouse in the bottom after passing it around...

irishoma said...

Sounds like a fun time. There's no expiration date on sharing with friends.

Pat Hatt said...

hahaha maybe they taste better with expired age or something, blog hopped your way too.

Donna Shields said...

That's too funny. Amazing how what you don't know sometimes really won't kill you.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hey! Following you now from the Pay it Forward blogfest.

knancy said...

Is this your first step on that road to becoming your Mother?

Val Thevictorian said...

Linda,
At least your friend gained a little protein. I only had aged carbs to offer my peeps.

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labbie,
I may pass around stale tortilla chips, but I draw the line at passing around mice. We caught a tiny one in a trap in my basement office (right by my feet!) and my son could not stand to see it writhing with its head pinned by the ineffective guillotine. So he set it on the porch for the cats.

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Donna,
Indeed. Unless they expire from consuming what you're sharing with them.

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Pat,
Come back and set a spell if you get tired of all that hoppin'.

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Donna S.
Those people who took the proffered potato chip, licked free of salt from my then-five-year-old son, might beg to differ.

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Alex J.
Welcome to my little piece of nowhere!

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knancy,
Let's keep things in perspective. That ranch dressing she served me on Thanksgiving was 4 YEARS old. I am still at the 5 WEEKS old stage. Like the Cheez-Its adolescent cheddar, I still need time to mature.