Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Banker is IN

This month, I am a banker. Not a financial-type banker, like Milburn Drysdale, seeking out hillbilly millionaires with an oil fortune, and a strapping country boy to dally with my secretary, Miss Jane.

No. I am more of a Newman-type banker, allowing Kramer to store his blood in my freezer inside Jerry's Tupperware, after Kramer had a falling-out with his blood bank over a rate increase. Thank goodness I don't have a friend named George who left an X-acto knife on the counter after filleting some pudding-skin singles.

I have been storing up posts for next Tuesday and Thursday, when I will be staying late for parent conferences at school. Where else would you expect us to hold parent conferences, anyway? I always feel stressed on those nights. I don't get home in time to do anything. I feel beholden to my blog(s). It makes me resent them. And those poor innocent blogs didn't do anything to me. They just exist. Because I created them.

So now I'm banking four extra posts, scheduled to auto-publish while I'm away. In the event that something goes haywire (but not as haywire as a borrowed car overheating, and me refusing to turn off the air conditioner because my Tupperwared blood will boil before I get it to the new blood bank, resulting in steam pouring out of the radiator, and my blood the only liquid available to pour into it and save the engine), I will still be home later to push the "publish" button.

Perhaps I should dress for success. A monocle might be in order. And some spats, a top hat, a coat with tails, a bow tie, and a well-groomed handlebar mustache. Yes. I'm bending my gender. Because no way do I want to be Ruby Deagle, the villain in Gremlins, who wants to put Billy's dog to sleep. Except I agree with her that Billy shouldn't have brought Barney to work at the bank.

Yep. This month, I'm a banker. Will butcher, baker, and candlestick maker appeal to me in the future? Who knows. I'm not exactly Morgan Spurlock. Even 30 Days of banking would be too much for me.


Sioux said...

I just finished my fun-filled conference week last night. (Our district makes us work like dogs but if we get the required 6 extra hours in, we get today--Friday--off. Last night I slept the sleep of the dead.)

Good luck. I had some no-shows, but all the conferences went well. I am fortunate to have very supportive parents to work with this year. I'm hoping yours goes well, too.

Val Thevictorian said...

We, too, are rewarded with a Friday off for staying from 3-7 on Tuesday night, and 1-6 on Thursday (kids get an early out). Seems like you have the better deal. You must be a union shop!

This will be our most-attended conference, because we're new to the freshman parents. Of course I teach freshmen all day, so I will have a crew. We don't sign up for appointments. First come, first served. Mine usually show up just after the dinner order arrives.

I have developed a strategy. Stand at the door, and step inside the room to chat for a few minutes if they request it. That way, I am not sitting behind a desk lording it over them, and they get the hint that this will be brief and to-the-point, because others are waiting just outside the door. Otherwise you can get trapped by those who turn the discussion to themselves instead of the student's performance. I am enamored of the fact that you loved science as a child, and created the most elaborate science project ever. But we are really here to talk about your child's success or lack of effort.