Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Banker is IN

This month, I am a banker. Not a financial-type banker, like Milburn Drysdale, seeking out hillbilly millionaires with an oil fortune, and a strapping country boy to dally with my secretary, Miss Jane.

No. I am more of a Newman-type banker, allowing Kramer to store his blood in my freezer inside Jerry's Tupperware, after Kramer had a falling-out with his blood bank over a rate increase. Thank goodness I don't have a friend named George who left an X-acto knife on the counter after filleting some pudding-skin singles.

I have been storing up posts for next Tuesday and Thursday, when I will be staying late for parent conferences at school. Where else would you expect us to hold parent conferences, anyway? I always feel stressed on those nights. I don't get home in time to do anything. I feel beholden to my blog(s). It makes me resent them. And those poor innocent blogs didn't do anything to me. They just exist. Because I created them.

So now I'm banking four extra posts, scheduled to auto-publish while I'm away. In the event that something goes haywire (but not as haywire as a borrowed car overheating, and me refusing to turn off the air conditioner because my Tupperwared blood will boil before I get it to the new blood bank, resulting in steam pouring out of the radiator, and my blood the only liquid available to pour into it and save the engine), I will still be home later to push the "publish" button.


Perhaps I should dress for success. A monocle might be in order. And some spats, a top hat, a coat with tails, a bow tie, and a well-groomed handlebar mustache. Yes. I'm bending my gender. Because no way do I want to be Ruby Deagle, the villain in Gremlins, who wants to put Billy's dog to sleep. Except I agree with her that Billy shouldn't have brought Barney to work at the bank.


Yep. This month, I'm a banker. Will butcher, baker, and candlestick maker appeal to me in the future? Who knows. I'm not exactly Morgan Spurlock. Even 30 Days of banking would be too much for me.

2 comments:

Sioux said...

I just finished my fun-filled conference week last night. (Our district makes us work like dogs but if we get the required 6 extra hours in, we get today--Friday--off. Last night I slept the sleep of the dead.)

Good luck. I had some no-shows, but all the conferences went well. I am fortunate to have very supportive parents to work with this year. I'm hoping yours goes well, too.

Val Thevictorian said...

Sioux,
We, too, are rewarded with a Friday off for staying from 3-7 on Tuesday night, and 1-6 on Thursday (kids get an early out). Seems like you have the better deal. You must be a union shop!

This will be our most-attended conference, because we're new to the freshman parents. Of course I teach freshmen all day, so I will have a crew. We don't sign up for appointments. First come, first served. Mine usually show up just after the dinner order arrives.

I have developed a strategy. Stand at the door, and step inside the room to chat for a few minutes if they request it. That way, I am not sitting behind a desk lording it over them, and they get the hint that this will be brief and to-the-point, because others are waiting just outside the door. Otherwise you can get trapped by those who turn the discussion to themselves instead of the student's performance. I am enamored of the fact that you loved science as a child, and created the most elaborate science project ever. But we are really here to talk about your child's success or lack of effort.