Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Thursday, August 4, 2011

A Real Stand-Up Kind of Guy

Here's the latest in my continuing series I have named, "The Odd Things I Saw on my Rural Road Today."

The Truth in Blogging Law requires me to divulge that I actually saw this sight yesterday, after a medical visit and a bout of errand-running. Just outside the city limits, on my way home on two-lane blacktop, I was confronted by Denis Leary with a crewcut riding a buzz bike. He approached me in the oncoming traffic lane, standing up while coasting down a slight depression. Denis did not look a day under forty. He wore a dark T-shirt with cut-off sleeves, a pair of jeans shorts, and black shoes with white crew socks. His skin was like tanned leather. Still, those facts are somewhat unremarkable.

Of course, it wasn't the REAL Denis Leary. I'm sure he has a much better place to ride his buzz bike. But this guy looked just like Denis Leary, with shorter hair. And an extra layer of dirt.

Faux-Denis met my eye, then turned to look over his left shoulder for approaching traffic. I assume that's what he was looking for, at the risk of making an A$$ out of U and ME. I suppose he could have just been paranoid. But the problem is not with the reason that Denis turned, but with the act of Denis turning. No no no no no! As any diver or gymnast can tell you...the body follows the head. When Denis turned his head, his bike veered toward the center lane. The center lane that is quite a poor barrier when it comes to keeping a bicycle out from under the tires of a Tahoe.

Denis must have had an angel on his shoulder, because he turned back quick enough to see the error of his head, and jerked his high-rise handlebars. The buzz bike returned to its rightful traffic lane, and Denis and I parted ways.

Once a stand-up, always a stand-up, I suppose. Did Denis not realize that his style of riding was wasting a perfectly good banana seat?


Kelley said...

Ahhh!! I had my breath held. I was about to cry for the Denis Leary look alike.

labbie1 said...

OMYGOSH! I saw the picture of the banana bike and it immediately transported me back to my youth when I was presented with an almost identical bike that was a metal flake purple with a sparkly silver seat and sparkly streamers flying from the handlebars! I had not thought about that bike in FOREVER!!! Thanks for the happy memory!

As to Denis, I can only think of one reason one usually sees a grown man on a kid's bike riding around...no license!

We have a guy in this area that looks like Rip VanWinkle and drives a tractor (the big kind not the garden variety) around due to lack of license because of a personal habit of drinking and drugs that he has had for years. It's amazing to see the white hair and beard flying as the tractor goes scooting by...

Val Thevictorian said...

I didn't squish him. But he was in momentary danger.

We used to have a dude who drove a lawnmower around town, until he got a DUI on it, too.