The Pony is following in the footsteps of his big brother, Genius. You remember Genius, don't you? The boy who lost his chartreuse pillowcase?
Both boys are going to the MSUSBC Youth Bowling Tournament this weekend. Don't go thinking it's an honor. As long as they've bowled enough games during the season, any kid can compete in the state bowling championships. Our local alley always takes a team.
Hick has mentioned for the past two days that the boys need their team shirts. According to The Pony, one shirt is in Hick's car. Probably left there from last year. Or at least from last fall, when their league may or may not have handed out new shirts. Hick swears that The Pony has a shirt somewhere in the house. Like that narrows down the search area.
I combed the laundry room last night. I knew there was a shiny blue, white, and red shirt with a Youth Bowling logo. It gets shoved aside every week during laundry, because it is a non-essential wardrobe item. I washed it and hung it to dry at 5:00 this morning. Hick says that is not the right shirt, but that it will do in a pinch. He wants the one with the local team name on it. A black T-shirt.
When we got home from school, I sent The Pony to his room to search for the bowling shirt. About thirty seconds later, he announced, "Nope. It's not in my room."
"Did you look in the drawers?"
"In ALL of the drawers?"
"It has to be there. It's not hanging in the laundry room."
"Well, it's not. I looked."
I may or may not have heaved a giant, long-suffering, sarcastic sigh. I'm a master at expressing myself with expelled air. No eye-rolling for me. I'm a minimalist.
I rifled through The Pony's second drawer. Old shorts. T-shirts for home wear, not good enough for school. The third drawer was school shorts with pockets and zippers. And some specialty shirts. BETA club. Academic team. An orange, don't-kill-me t-shirt for wearing outside at the beginning of deer or turkey season. Another blue, white, and red silky Youth Bowling t-shirt. A solid red league bowling team t-shirt. And a couple of school mascot t-shirts.
The Pony was dispatched to the living room to put the bowling shirts on the back of the couch for Hick to inspect when he came in from his nightly goat-and-chicken reunion. I opened the fourth drawer. Lo and behold, on the bottom of the right-hand stack of not-in-the-daily-rotation shirts was a black team bowling shirt. "You said you looked through all of the drawers."
"Well, I found your bowling shirt."
"Right there on the bottom of the stack."
"It wasn't there a minute ago! I LOOKED!"
"I'm sure you did." I couldn't resist. As he bent over and peered into the drawer, in an effort to understand the mysterious, spontaneous generation of his team shirt...I took that shirt and touched the back of his neck with it. While making a rattling noise and a snake-hiss. "If it was a snake, IT WOULDA BIT YA!"
The Pony laughed nervously.
Please, please, PLEASE! Somebody out there promise me that if I ever disappear, a search party NOT comprised of my immediate kin will commence looking for me.