I tried to help a stranger today. Mark your calendar!
There I was, driving The Pony home from school, when an approaching car stopped in the road. The driver stuck his hand out the window and motioned for me to stop. I did. Which is probably a good way to get killed in some necks of the woods. But here on the blacktop county road, in the light of day, with a cow pasture on each side and a house down a lane, I took that chance.
"Is this Battle Axe Lane?"
"Um. No. This is Backroads Byway."
"I'm trying to get to 1313 Battle Axe Lane."
"I live at 1212 Battle Axe Lane. I'm going there now, if you want to follow me. I'll go slow across the bridge."
"Let me turn around."
Let the record show that the dude looked like a city slicker. Or a real estate salesman. No flannel shirt with the sleeves cut off, or overalls, or wifebeater. No hockey mask. No chainsaw. A tasteful polo shirt. I couldn't see them, but I pictured him as wearing Italian shoes.
The closer I got to my turnoff, the more I second-guessed myself. What if he was a murderer? Genius was home. He wouldn't get me today. What if he was a process server? Oh, well. Wrap up your loose ends, people.
When I hit the gravel, I put up a wall of dust. Not intentionally. That's just a happy accident that lets me feed my dust to tailgaters. I swerve back-and-forth for them. But this guy got his shiny black SUV all be-dusted with no malice from me. I pulled sideways across my driveway entrance. Both to block him, and to point him up the road. He thanked me. "I never would have found this road on my own." I had mentioned to The Pony that he looked like a guy trying to find something with GPS.
He continued, and I pulled into the garage and closed the door. The Pony carried in his school stuff. I took a few minutes to gather my things, then followed. That City Slicker was coming BACK down Battle Axe Lane! He slowed at my driveway, but didn't turn in. He went down the driveway of our neighbors across the road. Then I started to worry some more. What if he was staking out the place? Coming back after dark to slit my throat? I think he saw me petting the dogs. THREE DOGS! Ya got that, City Slicker? THREE DOGS!
Genius greeted me inside. "What was that all about? I saw you talking to that black car."
"I wasn't talking to a CAR! I gave a guy directions. He may or may not come back to kill us."
"Oh." Genius went back to his room.
I'll update you tomorrow...IF I CAN!