Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Friday, January 6, 2012

Shame, Shame. I'm Glad Not Everybody Knows My Name.

I am feeling a bit guilty tonight.

The local Sonic appears to have gone out of business. I first noticed that something was amiss on Sunday, January 1st. The Pony and I had finished our weekly shopping, and I desired a Route 44 Diet Coke to keep me company all afternoon. I turned into the Sonic drive, and noticed nearly fifteen feet of flapping yellow caution tape. Hullo! What's this then? I automatically think with a British accent when startled.

I slammed on the brakes and contemplated my situation. There was one car parked in an odd manner, not at one of the drive-in bays. The Pony said there were no lights inside the building. I looked more closely at the caution tape. It was affixed to a pole on one side, and flapping loose at the whim of the 40 mph winds. I made a sort of U-turn that was more akin to a long-metal-loop-of-a-WheelO-turn (and don't tell me you've never heard of a WheelO). Because the percentage of spring chickens amongst my readership is, in actuality, much lower than the percentage of self-proclaimed spring chickens.

My mother believes that the Sonic is closed for good. Not for the good of mankind. For good, permanent. What does she have to lose by being a doomcrier? She has her own Sonic in her neighborhood. So I'm taking that opinion with a grain of salt. Which would go down good with a Sonic Route 44 Diet Coke. I'm hoping it is merely closed for renovation. Though the absence of those regional-style hot dogs and sundae shake posters from the side of the building does not bode well for my theory.

My guilt stems from a practice of which I am not proud. A practice practiced by The Pony and moi for nigh on two years now. We asked for extra ketchup. Every visit. Though I did refrain on those visits when I only used a receipt to receive a free Route 44. But otherwise, it's true. The two of us have double-handedly bankrupted a branch of Sonic by procuring beaucoups of ketchup for the price of zero dollars and zero cents. Or as we like to think of it, FREE.

No wonder that Skater Drive-Thru Dude felt it necessary to keep the bills from my five just because I gave him proper coinage along with it. He wasn't scamming me for a tip I did not intend to give. He was merely embezzling from me in order to give to poor Sonic. In order to help defray the cost of my constant ketchup-scamming. The goose and the gander both got their just desserts. It took one to know one, and all that.

Now the universe and Even Steven have joined forces to teach me a lesson. Ketchup is never free.

8 comments:

Sioux said...

It's a bloody shame, isn't it?

And you, a parent just trying to make sure your stepson got the right amount of vegetables in his system...

(As all the school cafeterias know, a pool of ketchup on a burger counts for one vegetable serving.)

Stephen Hayes said...

A sad lesson, but nothing is free, except guilt.

Val said...

Sioux,
Actually, my stepsons are on their own in the vegetable department, what with them now being 31 and 29 years old. My dietary input is limited to providing them with Chex Mix, Oreo Cakes, and Oberle cheese.

The Pony, on the other hand, is 13-year-old live-in son, and needs that vegetable ketchup to offset the effects of the corn dog he insists on taking in his lunch every day.

I don't want to point the finger, but at one time, it seemed as if a certain school cafeteria was trying to count mold as a vegetable, not merely being satisfied with green bread, but also serving up green meat, as in hamburgers.

I seem to be on a roll, providing daily stimulus for readers to throw up a little bit in their mouths. We'll just look upon that as a service Val provides to aid the post-holiday weight-loss resolution crew.

Val said...

Stephen,
Good thing that guilt is free. Because now I have a new dose of it, what with making a typo in that response above for Sioux, which should have read: "...is my 13-year-old live-in son..."

I also have more guilt about the two 7-Elevens that just went out of business, because I didn't buy lottery tickets any more at the first one, and the gas was too expensive at the second one, even though I was trying to offset that loss in revenue by buying an occasional Big Gulp Diet Coke.

I don't think my conscience can withstand another closing.

Linda O'Connell said...

Don't qauke for that shake or 44 ounce. Wendy's disappeared and are now creeping back into town like a mutt with his tail between his legs.

Val said...

Linda,
Wendy's??? We had one nearby, but of course I put it out of business by only thinking about driving through for a Frosty every couple of weeks. I hope it comes back. The building is still there.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I read this as I am chortling over the amount of syrup the local McD's added to the breakfasts that he who wants for a morning meal scored with a coupon. Extra butter (or what passes for such), grape jam, salt, and yes, even a couple of packets of ketchup were in the bag along with all that syrup. No napkins, though. They will be able to stay open for business by saving money on paper product while doling out excessive condiments.

Val said...

Kathy,
Paper products are quite expensive now. Or maybe they figure you "People of Walmart" just use the back of your hand. ;)