I hope there are no arachnophobes amongst my vast readership. Because if the thought of eight hairy legs and four pairs of eyes make you go all dizzy and short of breath while your heart tries to hammer its way out of your chest...you'd better not scroll down. THIS IS A WARNING! Big hairy spider below! Look away!
It's hard to tell the size in this extreme closeup, but a nail head is clearly visible. My furry little friend appears to be approximately 15 nail-heads long. Hey! I can measure in whatever units tickle my fancy. It's my blog. So if you want your arachnids measured in inches or centimeters, take your own pictures and post them on your own blog. A nail-head is an acceptable measure. It's no dumber than the length of a king's thumb knuckle. Maybe I'll start my own measurement system. I declare that this spider is one Pony-hand long. That's the distance from the tip of my thirteen-year-old son's middle finger to the base of his hand. A Pony-hand.
Hick found another one of these under the porch, out by the pool, a couple of years ago. Being Hick, he put it in a Ziploc bag and sent Genius in the house to wave it in my face. I don't know how he wangled that mission, because when I asked Genius to snap a photo for me yesterday, he shook his head like Jerry Seinfeld refusing a bite of pie. He says he dislikes spiders immensely. But he did give me his $950 camera and show me how to focus. So that's my handiwork that you are about to see below. WARNING! The spider pic is coming!
This creepy behemoth was perched on the wall near our back porch ceiling, just behind the kitchen door. The Pony spotted it when he was complaining that I need to spray the wasps who have returned to our porch like swallows to Capistrano. It appears to be a Dolomedes tenebrosus, one of the largest of the North American spiders. It is also called a fishing spider. Its cousins are known for eating bugs and small minnows from the water's surface, but tenebrosus is found farther from the water. They hunt their prey rather than capturing it in webs. Come to think of it, there was a tattered dead moth on the porch. A big moth. I assume this spider was a female, because they are bigger than the males. And I don't want to see a spider bigger than this.
WARNING! Here comes spidey!
She was gone an hour later. I am not looking forward to a reunion.