Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Hindsight is 40 Dollars

I can't believe this solution to yesterday's unwanted lawn-mower conundrum did not occur to me until this morning.

Genius should go to Neighbor Lady's house and mow her lawn. The best time would be soon after she is observed driving away. Once the deed is done, Genius can sit on the porch and wait for her return. "I mowed your yard for you. Because you've been so kind in mowing my aunt's yard without her even asking, I'm going to reduce my rate from $50 to $40. But I can only take cash, because I don't have a bank account."

Yeah. Something tells me that Genius just donated a couple hours of his time for nothing. But it would be worth it if he captured the look on Neighbor Lady's face with his phone camera. The moment when she realized her reign of extortion was over.

I must be sorely lacking in vitamin ZZZZs for that obvious remedy to evade my problem-solving skill set. You'd think my thinking cap was reclining on a chaise lounge. soaking up the sun on a white-sand beach, overlooking an azure sea, knocking back a Corona...rather than being planted all backwards and cool upon my recently Donald-Trumped tresses.

Fighting fire with fire. Gandering the goose that mowed the golden lawn. Dosing Neighbor Lady with her own medicine.

Karma keeps a running total. And Even Steven is her henchman.

6 comments:

Sioux said...

Maybe have the bill sent by registered mail? Or have Juno deliver it, and she can leave a pile of poop on the lawn--free of charge...

Leenie said...

Great idea! Waiting to see the photo and hear the rest of the story.

Stephen Hayes said...

I wish people were fighting to mow MY lawn.

Chickadee said...

Someone have a big mean dog to loan for a few hours? Maybe the woman would think twice if she saw a slobbering, furiously barking dog at the gate. And I do like the idea of an electrified fence.

Or refine the idea of nails and put them allll over the yard.

Keep us in the loop on this one. I'm curious what will happen.

Linda O'Connell said...

Is the woman dense? Tell Genius to say, "I'll pit my mower against yours." Or get a pit bull and show this gal you all mean business.

Val said...

Sioux,
That reminds me of a dastardly act of revenge I once pulled. Juno is not a reliable bill deliverer. But she's a darn good pooper.

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Leenie,
I can't actually send Genius over to a crazy woman's house. But I am going to suggest he check my aunt's grass height every day until it's suitable for mowing.

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Stephen,
Tom Sawyer comes to mind. Does your fence need whitewashing?

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Chick,
Too bad that Auntie has small dogs that play in her fenced yard. The nails might work, unless Genius stepped on one, or shot it out of his push mower like a bullet.

I'm as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockers about Crazy Lady usurping Genius's rightful chore. She's already robbed him of $80.

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Linda,
Great. Now we're dogfighting and having mower wars. I sense a new TLC show in the works.