Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Sunday, May 27, 2012

The Goose Diverges from the Gander

I saw him coming. Saw a flash of red through the leafy gaps in the trees. A red SUV, speeding down his gravel road, across his private bridge, onto the blacktop a scant twenty feet in front of me. I was so close that I saw the whites of his eyes through his open window as they widened in surprise, just before his vehicle cut me off.

I hit the anti-lock brakes. My foot had been hovering over the pedal since I saw his colors flash. Just in case.

He sped up. And put his left arm out the window, palm up. A supplicating gesture, much like the one Caesar the chimp used with his human movie daddy, James Franco, in Rise of Planet of the Apes, to ask permission to run amok in the giant redwoods. My road-darter used it to show submission. He knew I was in the right. He had wronged me. It was a sorry of sorts, at 30 mph.

I accepted his moving apology. Kept my distance. Did not shake my fist, throw up my hands, or curse the day he was conceived. Because he acknowledged his mistake.

Today I pulled out of my own gravel road onto the blacktop, about a hundred feet in front of a moving car. I did not extend my arm. I was not sorry.

I did not dare look in the mirror.

7 comments:

Leenie said...

Beware of Val when she runs amok in the Backwoods.

Sioux said...

And if that happened in the big city, the offended driver would yell at you, "I'm gonna burst and capsize you." Or maybe it would be "I'm gonna bust your cap and gown on you." Something like that...

Val said...

Leenie,
Who put you in charge of the Backroads public service announcements?

************
Sioux,
Stop scaring me with tales of your urban violence!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Shame on Val! I had a speeder here at the kamp. Clearly in violation of my posted 10 mph signs, the woman was leaving behind her lover after a "Jerry Springer" moment at the pool. Yes, they were locals. And no she did not stop before hitting the blacktop .....

Val said...

Kathy,
I wouldn't dream of making such a speed faux pas in your kampground. But out here, it is survival of the fleetest.

Joanne said...

I didn't know I could do this to others! They're travelling at 45 on our main road, though. If they're at the speed limit.

Val said...

Joanne,
You have to think outside the box. And always wear your seatbelt. This is a relatively new way that I've found to annoy people.

My favorite is still driving the speed limit, letting the tailgaters tailgate. It is especially rewarding when they follow me onto my gravel road. I gather a burst of speed, and sweave (a driving method that entails swerving and weaving, perfected by my husband) back and forth for maximum dustage. So those tailgaters have to eat my dust. I LOVE being a feeder.