I have been inspired.
Today I saw the most amazing sight. It was a woman's big toe that was longer than my thumb. It was the greatest great toe ever! And it wasn't misshapen or hairy or yellow-nailed or in need of exfoliation with a good pumice stone. In fact, it had a tasteful coating of polish on the nail.
But that was one long toe!
Consider, perhaps, the thumbs of Sissy Hankshaw in Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. Only in toe form. I'm sure this Toe Ma'am will never use her great toes to get into half the things Sissy Hankshaw did with her thumbs. But somebody needs to take notice.
I normally try to avoid looking at feet. I abhor them. But these were just there, propped up, in plain sight. A quick glance, and my eye was snagged by that great toe. Toe Ma'am should wear an oven mitt over it, like George Costanza protecting his hand-model cash cows. I'm not even sure an oven mitt would fit such a long-appendaged foot.
Like Olive Oyl's neck and Popeye's forearms, Frankenstein's forehead and Eddie Munster's widow's peak...this great toe will come to mind when I hear Toe Ma'am's name.
Seriously. Little Jack Horner could have extracted a plum with it.