I lapsed into a half-hearted stabbing spree today. Without thinking. By rote. Not that I practice and carry out full-on stabbing sprees on a regular basis. I was kind of having a not-so raibowy, unicorny, lollipoppy day.
When I finally reached the sanctuary of my garage, and saw a package on top of the generator, I almost squealed with not-rage. I was sure it was my pre-ordered copy of Jeneration X. Jen Lancaster's new release. And indeed, the box had Amazon written all over it. Imagine my surprise when I hacked it open on the kitchen counter and found, not my long-awaited literary treat, but a flash attachment for the camera of Genius.
The big, fat, fluffy, pillows of air-stuffing mocked me. I took the carving knife that is ever-so-ready down the side of the sink drainer, and stabbed. Stabbed. Stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, STABBED! Any trio of visually-challenged rodents that might have been loitering about the premises should count their lucky stars that they still have their tails intact.
I, too, enumerated a few celestial bodies of hot gases. Because in spite of my errant thrusting, I did not inadvertently disembowel myself. That would have been tragic.
Because Jeneration X does not come out until May 1st.