Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Like a Coffee Table Book about Coffee Tables, Perhaps?

I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it. I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it. And I know, I know, I know, I know...

Oops! That's some Pointer Sisters lyrics from my misspent youth. My mind took a holiday there for a moment. Packed its bags, turned off the water, bumped down the thermostat, checked the appliances, locked the doors, loaded the SUV, and pulled out of the driveway at 4:30 a.m.

My excitement comes from the announcements from Linda and Sioux and Dianna that submissions are open for something that I kind of have a knack for writing. In my head, I hear Doolittle Lynn telling Loretta, upon finding out she was pregnant, "You know, we may have found something you know how to do." I hear ya, Doo. Time to get off my duff and start tickling the plastic, burning the midnight monitor. Put my proboscis back on the proverbial grindstone.

At last, I've found a place that might be interested in my stories about revenge flatulence, announcing to the entire waiting area of Little Caesars that I had grown tired of holding my son's balls, hairwads in hot tubs, and perhaps, even kid-unfriendly holiday Peeps with obscene protuberances.

I need to get crackin'!


Stephen Hayes said...

You certainly sound energized! Good luck.

Linda O'Connell said...

You are killing me. My sides hurt from laughing at your holiday peeps.

BECKY said...

I agree!! This sounds like it's right up your alley...or your proboscis, or up your a....hey, I wasn't gonna type it!
Go Val! Go Val!! I'm excited right along with you! P.S. When I read the title to this post, I thought I was going to read something about Kramer's coffee table book! :)

Sioux said...

And if you run out of inspiration, I have a solution.

Outbid Peterman, and buy Kramer's stories. He's got a busload full of 'em...

Kathy's Klothesline said...

"embarrassing submissions", I think I might have a few of those. After all we are both married to unique beings.......

Val said...

Thanks. I'm sure your upcoming holiday will be much more exciting than the one my brain took momentarily.

It was the snowmen intended for stocking stuffing. The photo I have certainly makes them appear well-endowed.

I thought of Kramer as I pondered the possibility of giving my mom one of these books as a gift. "Here, Mom. Here's NOT YOUR MOTHER'S BOOK ON BEING A MOM. I'm giving it to you. But it's not yours."

It would sound kind of like a conversation with Hick.

Do you think I'm made of money? No way could I outbid Peterman. Not after seeing what he spent on JFK's golf clubs. Maybe I can afford to bid on the Van Nostrand years.

I'm sure you don't lack for material. I like the way He Who fixed up your golf cart.

Linda O'Connell said...

CLARIFICATION, correction, oops! We are seeking serious stories also, not limited to humor category.

irishoma said...

It is exciting! And now you've got me humming the Pointer Sisters' Song.

Val said...

Duly noted. I have that kind of story as well. I see that you have updated your link.

Are you disco-dancing as well? Linda could probably whip up a disco ball for you in no time, out of some everyday recyclables.