Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Monday, October 10, 2011

Monday Morning You Don't Look Fine

The only thing worse than a Monday morning is a Monday morning when you have parking lot duty before school, plus lunch duty later in the day, and more parking lot duty after school, then have to stay until 5:00 p.m. in order to pick up your son from Academic Team practice, and the only break you have is your plan time from 9:09 until 9:59 a.m.

I was stressed this morning. Hick and I both have radio alarm clocks on our respective nightstands. His is the official waker-upper. Mine has a habit of fluctuating wildly in the clock department, after any little power outage. Then it will run as normal until the next power outage. So it is usually several hours ahead or behind time in real life. I get used to it. Lately, my get-up time of 4:50 a.m. has been represented by 11 minutes after on my clock. When I go to bed, I mentally calculate how many hours and minutes of sleep I have until that alarm goes off. It must be the old math teacher in me. Or the undiagnosed OCD. Most mornings I awake a few minutes before the alarm, and lay abed until Hick's music starts to play, and he tells me it's time to get up. I like for him to feel needed like that.

This morning, I woke up at 4 minutes after. I turned over. I woke up again at 24 MINUTES AFTER! Hick had not awakened me. I jumped out of bed and ran to make The Pony's lunch and mine, lay out his clothes (no creepy Seinfeld jokes here, please. It's just more efficient than telling him to change into something more presentable), and dashed to the shower. I was 13 MINUTES BEHIND! That's critical on a duty Monday. I barely get to work with enough time to log in, type my password in quadruplicate to get into all of my secret teachery locations, and hustle out to the would-be demolition derby area.

I lathered, rinsed, and did not repeat. No time for that. I dressed. I styled my hair in a manner that has led students to ask if I turned on a light or looked in a mirror before coming to school. I rooted Hick awake. "You didn't tell me it was time to get up! Get going! I didn't hear the alarm!"

Hick was too lethargic for my tastes. "No. I didn't tell you to get up. The alarm didn't go off."

"Well, you better fix it for tomorrow. I'm going to be late!"

"The alarm didn't go off because it's not time yet. It's only 4:40."

Never mind.


Sioux said...

Is it any wonder that teachers are the fastest pee-ers in the world, and can bolt down a sandwich, a soda, and a stale doughnut that was left in the lounge in 7 minutes?

Man, what a life!

labbie1 said...

Oye! You poor OCD thing!

Time for a new clock you think?

Carol said...

What a lovely start to the day. Freaky late only to find out that you are freaky early.
Once my BIL didn't know that one of his kids had set his alarm clock an hour or so early. He got ready for work, drove to work wondering why traffic was so light, and then arrived at work (like 45 minutes away from home) to find that it was like 6am!

Val Thevictorian said...

Our hall is all women. The race to the bathroom between bells looks like Roller Derby. Since lunch prices were raised by more than a dollar this year, our current scam is to ask kids to leave us their fruit and vegetables if they're not going to eat them. One day we had four packs of mini-carrots and three bananas. Yesterday was sub sandwich day, and we raked in three bags of Sun Chips. I suppose they are more popular with the mature palate.

Then I would have to remember to turn it on. So much pressure!

Val Thevictorian said...

I couldn't wait to get to school and tell my friend. Several years ago, she had gotten up, brewed the coffee, showered, awakened her new husband, put on make-up, sat down to breakfast...and Hubby noticed that the microwave clock said 3:30 a.m. If I remember correctly, "idiot" was the nicest thing he called her.