Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Monday, September 5, 2011

You Have a Different Scenario, Perhaps?

I have been a bit under the weather this weekend, with a back-to-school virus. I am usually able to  avoid the first sickness, but both my boys brought it home. I set out for some hot-and-sour soup this afternoon in an effort to ease my symptoms.

Like John Travolta as Bud in Urban Cowboy told Aunt Corene after he broke his arm down at the plant, when Sissy had run off with Wes, the ex-con mechanical-bull controller, "Cornbread tastes real good when you're hurtin'," right after Aunt Corene said, "Y'all live like pigs!" and made some individual tuna salads with onion instead of with apples and pecans, the way Sissy liked it...hot-and-sour soup tastes real good when you've got a cold.

Little did I know that I would have to wait twenty-five minutes for my hot-and-sour soup. That's uncalled for. Seriously. There were only three customers. I ordered my take-out soup. Then an eating-in couple ordered General Tso's Chicken and Chicken and Broccoli with a side of hot-and-sour soup. They got their side soup before I got mine. Five minutes before. So they only waited twenty minutes.

You would think that little gal hopped on a slow boat to China, wrestled a wizened Panda for the bamboo shoots, then planted the soybeans and waited for them to grow, harvested them, curdled the soy milk, pressed it into blocks, cut it into cubes, then trekked through a forest to forage for mushrooms, then hatched a chicken from its egg, raised it with love, chopped off its head, boiled it, poured off the broth, gathered all ingredients, hopped another slow boat back from China, set the fixin's on the counter, and waited for the teenage boy to finish his video game before ordering him to make the soup.

At least that's the scenario that passed through my mind while I coughed up my right lung waiting for my soup.


Linda O'Connell said...

Go ahaed, rant a bit; I don't blame you. Feel better soon.

Sioux said...

Bravo! You made an extra mess for them to clean up, to make up for the long wait. It serves them right!

(How DOES one clean up shards of lung material off the floor?)

irishoma said...

Dang it. Sorry to hear you're feeling poorly. Hope you're feeling better soon. Oh, and I love the bit about Urban Cowboy.
donna v.

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Hahaha! I laughed all the way through your scenario, but "hatched a chicken from its egg, raised it with love, chopped off its head" did me in. The funny thing is that Asian food is like Mexican food --- FAST. I've never had to wait more than 5 minutes for take-out in either type of restaurant. So I agree that your wait was unwarranted. Anyway, you know they have huge caldrons in the kitchen, one with hot & sour, one with egg drop, simmering all the day long. At least you got a great blog post out of it! Hope you feel better soon.

P.S. Try a hot toddy right before you go to bed. I swear it helps: 8 oz. hot water, 1.5+ shots of whiskey, 1+ tablespoon of honey, 1+ teaspoons of lemon juice. It won't get you plowed (I promise) but it will ease your throat and help you sleep. :)

labbie1 said...

Gaaaaaa!!! You have not been having much luck with the Chinese lately have you? Did it help at least?

labbie1 said...

Lisa--I like YOUR remedy! I think I should try it! :)

Val Thevictorian said...

You might as well tell the Mississippi to keep on rolling. When Val only rants a bit, she must be ill and in need of some hot & sour soup. STAT!

I'm thinking one uses a Bissell, like the one I usually have scooted under my feet in a different Chinese restaurant while I am eating, even though closing time is hours away.

Who can resist a young Travolta and Winger, with a bonus of Scott Glenn eating the worm at the bottom of the tequila bottle?

Yeah, I was sure a perfectly good cauldron of soup was mocking me behind closed doors. The hot toddy sounds good, but I've been on the wagon for years, so I must give that one a pass.

The hot & sour soup was great until the magic wore off a few hours later. Then my head stuffed up again. And nobody says you have to be sick to use Lisa's remedy. Didn't those old ladies on The Waltons do a good business selling "the recipe"?