Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Motel at the Corner of Femur and Tibia

I have mice. Joint mice. Flaky pieces of cartilage that have abandoned the ol' meniscus ship to float freely within my sea of synovial fluid.

The problem with joint mice is that you never know when they will manifest themselves. One minute they're all cartoon cute, wearing little red shorts, white gloves, and yellow shoes, courting a lady mouse in a big pink bow with a bouquet of bright flowers...and the next minute they're jamming little mouse potatoes into the tailpipe of my knee joint, and two-fistedly gnawing on nerves they envision to be tasty wedges of cheddar cheese.

The transformation occurs without warning. I think I'm going to take a step forward, and my knee locks up with the bonus of a shooting pain. After a few limps, the pain might go away. Or it might linger for several weeks. And that's with the good knee. Not the good one who tries to persuade the bad one that it's wrong to toss a dummy off a highway overpass to cause a chain reaction auto accident, like Elijah Wood tried to persuade Macaulay Culkin in The Good Son. No. The good one, as in the knee which has not gone under the knife.

I can generally pacify the joint mice with a snap of cold weather to their insular community behind the patella, at the corner of femur and tibia. An ice pack every evening makes them somewhat tractable. I am not ready to evict the little vermin with a surgical procedure. Too bad an orange-striped cat is not an option. Nor a sticky-floored joint mouse motel.

I guess I'm going to have to live with them.

10 comments:

Mrs. Tuna said...

Have you tried yoga? I was having a ton of joint issues (mostly for a lot of years of jumping horses and pounding said joints). It has helped me a ton.

Mommy Needs a Xanax said...

You don't want to have surgery and wake up in the middle of it?? Or perhaps not go to sleep at all, and have the surgeon describe your fallopian tubes to you? If your fallopian tubes were in your knee, that is.

Linda O'Connell said...

Ouch, sound miserable. I hope you those mice hibernate for you.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

The whole aging process is starting to piss me off! My thumbs have decided to stiffen and not want to cooperate. Making sewing a painful event. Sewing is my therapy, my escape from the mundane kampground owner life I lead and my thumb objects to the scissors!

Carol said...

Too bad! If it's arthroscopically done, it's a very quick fix and recovery.
Yeah. My thumbs have chronic issues. Oh, and my feet. Yay.
Off to catch up on your blog!

Val Thevictorian said...

Mrs. Tuna,
I have not tried yoga. But I have tried yogurt, and found it tasty.

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MommyNeeds,
Thanks for the flashback. Now I have post-traumatic surgery disorder.

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Linda,
I'm trying to make them chill out.

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Kathy,
Not to mention the crimp it will put in your other favorite pastime, escaping the kampground by hitchhiking.

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Carol,
I've had the regular meniscectomy with a five-inch scar, and arthroscopic surgery. Yes, the second one was WAY quicker on the recovery. I just had my thyroid yanked out last summer, and I am not keen on general anesthesia any time in the near future.

labbie1 said...

Ack! Sorry to hear that! Do you have to ice it every night????

Val Thevictorian said...

labbie,
Only on the days it's been acting up.

Tammy said...

Is there really such a thing as "joint mice?!" Or is that just your name for it? Egads, how awful. I started taking a magnesium supplement last year and was thrilled to discover it helps joint pain.

Val Thevictorian said...

Tammy,
Yes, they are real. It's pieces of cartilage that flake off the back of the kneecap, or off the regular cartilage if it gets damaged.