Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Admit It. I'm Working Your Dream Job.

Did you know that high school boys get really hungry just before lunch? Even if lunch is served at 10:53 a.m.? I am well aware of that fact. Every year I hear about how they are starving. About how lunch smells SO good! It doesn't help that my room is right across the hall from the kitchen. Kids can't concentrate on anything else if they're hungry.

We were down to the last few minutes before the bell, debating on whether Chicken Noodle Soup is the same as Chicken and Noodles. One is a lunch menu staple every couple of weeks. Our cooks have never served the other one. I insisted that they are two different entrees, while a student swore that they are one and the same. A clever negotiator proposed that they are made out of the same thing, except that the Chicken and Noodles is made with egg noodles, while the soup is not. We agreed to disagree.

During the next two minutes, we told beef and pork jokes. That's because one student complained that the math assignment was a puzzle. Problems had to be answered correctly so a number would match a corresponding letter, leading to the answer of a riddle at the bottom of the page. Here's the original riddle, along with some jokes that resulted. Answers will follow.

1. "What did the cops put on a bad pig?"

2. "What do you call a cow with two legs?"

3. "What do you call a cow with no legs?"

4. "What does a pig put on his burn?"

ANSWERS:
1. hamcuffs
2. lean beef
3. ground beef
4. oinkment

Don't hate me because I am working your dream job. Hate me because I am a connoisseur of fine beef and pork jokes.

10 comments:

Tammy said...

Good ones!

Sioux said...

Teachers DO have dream jobs. They have the low-down on when corn dog days are.

They get all the left-over doughnuts from "Doughnuts With Dad Day."

They get all the pencil shavings they want (which make marvelous sculpting material, when mixed with liquid glue).

Kelley said...

As much as I tried to fight it, I still am really laughing at "oinkment". Ha!

Linda O'Connell said...

This qualifies you for teacher of the year, you know. Sounds like a fun classroom.

Val Thevictorian said...

Tammy,
Yeah. I liked the "hamcuffs".

****************************
Sioux,
Don't forget the snow days.

****************************
Kelley,
I found the "oinkment" on a Laffy Taffy wrapper many years ago. Now the secret to my comedy is out.

****************************
Linda,
Of course. Teacher of the Year. That's a great song by southwest Missouri gal Judy Domeny Bowen. With lyrics like, "I write award-winning lessons in the parking lot, just before the day begins."

Kathy's Klothesline said...

You had me at hamcuffs!

Val Thevictorian said...

Kathy,
At least the joke-teller didn't make a comment about a pig putting cuffs on a pig.

labbie1 said...

Wish I had you for a teacher when I was in school--of course, you weren't yet born, but even so...

Oinkment, hamcuffs, pigs putting cuffs on pigs...oh geez! LOL

Val Thevictorian said...

labbie,
Oh, sure. Now I'm the sub who takes kids outside for class, and tells them to call her by her first name, and lets a cuss word slip every now and then. Yeah. I'm cool.

labbie1 said...

Oh now you are just toying with me like a cat making the mouse think he's her buddy...sure...