That darn Genius is turning me into a Mommy Blogger. I'm sure I could come up with other topics if I could ditch him for a few hours. Unfortunately, he plops on the living room short couch upon arising, and I can't get away. He is a better sparring partner than Hick. That's because Hick was born without a funny bone. An argument with Hick is just an argument. But an argument with Genius is amusing. To me, anyway. Perhaps I'll take him on the road as part of my imaginary stand-up act.
First cat out of the bag this morning, Genius informed me: "You have a typo on your blog. 'Choose you battles, people.' And for the next sentence, you say 'Choose your battles'. Which makes the error even more glaring."
I fired up my laptop, Shiba. Because all of our appliances have names around this house, ever since Genius got his first laptop and named him 'Lappie'. The -ie was his idea. I was soundly chastised once for writing about 'Lappy'. So soundly chastised that now I do not even mention that 'Lappie' looks more effeminate than a sixteen-year-old boy carrying an umbrella in a downpour. Genius continued to peruse my blog on his smart phone, "3VO". Which is called an EVO 3D by normal people.
"NO! Nobody spells FaceBook with a capital B! Change it!."
Once again, I'm taking orders from Mr. I Sliced Open My Finger With An X-Acto Knife While Inventing A 3D Camera Tripod. Who just declared that his favorite post of all time is Unwritten Culture Rules of Sixteen-Year-Old Males. "No wonder. It's all about you!"
"No. It's funny."
"That's the purpose of all my blog posts. To be funny. Apparently, I fall short of that goal sometimes."
"Or all the time."
"That's very hurtful. I hope my tears don't short out the keyboard when I type this up as today's post."
"Actually, there are no exposed electrical components in a keyboard."
"Thank you, Mr. I Sliced Open My Finger With An X-Acto Knife While Inventing A 3D Camera Tripod."
"You are causing me long-term psychological damage. But I do like the way you tell your story. You make me sound more intelligented than I really am."
"Did you just say 'intelligented'?"
"No! I said, 'intelligenter'. I was making a joke. You are confusing your D with your R. Which are right next to each other on a keyboard. Hey! Is it really going to rain on Tuesday and Wednesday?"
"That's what Cindy Prezler said. Are you taking an umbrella to camp now?"
"Uh...no. You could have told me it was going to rain."
"I figured you could read it on my blog. And anyway, it doesn't make any difference, because you still aren't taking an umbrella."
"Oh, and you made me sound like a drama queen. I did not say 'No way!' and carry on like that. Hey! I'm going to miss Pretty Little Liars on Tuesday night!"
"You'll be in a dorm full of nerds. I'm sure they'll all be gathered around the TV in the commons area, watching Pretty Little Liars."
"I doubt it. I've got to find a way to watch it."
"How about that friend who's going? Maybe she watches it. You can tell her, 'Well, I guess I can sit here and keep you company while you watch Pretty Little Liars, since you don't know anybody.' "
"Yeah. I hope she watches it."
I hope I can come up with some new material while he's away.