While dishing up supper tonight, I mentioned to Genius that I was submitting some stories to the Chicken Soup series. I told him that a few of them might involve him. And asked if that would be all right.
"I don't think so. I give you the ideas, and you keep all the money."
"It's not that much money. IF it even gets chosen."
"Still, I'm the one giving you the material."
"How about if I keep a tally and mark off it the expense of raising you? What is it now, for an average upbringing...a million dollars?"
"It's fifteen...uh...not fifteen million...uh..."
"You mean one point five million? Is that what you're trying to say, Mathie? Fifteen hundred thousand?"
"Yeah. That's what I meant."
"And yours would be twice that. You are high-maintenance."
"There are other stories about your dad. Since we know he doesn't read, I don't see any reason to ask him."
"That's what I was going to say."
"It's not like they'll be chosen, or that your dad will ever read them."
"Ha ha. What if he has a Chicken Soup book by his desk at work? And he reads from it every day."
"What could that possibly be? 'Chicken Soup for the Employee Whose eBay Has Been Blocked's Soul'?"
"Yeah. Or 'Chicken Soup for the Guy Who Looks Up Car Parts All Day on the Internet at Work'."
I think I've got another story.