Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Monday, July 11, 2011

Lookin' for Boobs in all the Wrong Places

Time once again to crack open the big treasure chest of blog statistics to see what people were really looking for when they unwittingly found themselves on the doorstep of  #1 Unbagging the Cats Place.

third hand boobs-No. That is very sad. And unsanitary. If the first woman didn't want them, and the second person (let's hope she was a woman) didn't want them, why would anybody want these rejects? How good can hand-me-down boobs be, really? Two silvery plush stuffed Hershey Kiss novelties would work just as well.

"with four boobs"-At least this one makes sense. Because we all know that Val is new and improved, now with four boobs.

that lioness-I might just request that everybody address me as That Lioness from now on. It has a nice ring to it. 

clumsier than Horace-I protest. The regal, proud Val (That Lioness) is in no way clumsier than Horace. She is not even as clumsy as Horace. She only broke 39 cup. Whereas everybody knows that a clumsier child you'll never see than Horace. That boy must have broke 40 cup. At least according to Rooster Cogburn.

true grit book cats-General Sterling Price is the only cat of importance in True Grit. He's important because he neglects his cat duties, requiring Rooster Cogburn to read a writ to a rat and then blow him away. Inside Chen Lee's general store. No, the only other cat might be the one you can still throw through the south wall of the shed where Tom Chaney stayed on Mattie's farm near Dardanelle in Yell County.

unbaggin the cats-Okay, we all know that Val is country when country isn't cool. But there's no need to rub salt in that wound by droppin' the 'g' all informal like, makin' her appear to be some kind of Cletus or Zeke, barefoot in bib overalls, whittlin' a new corncob pipe in her rockin' chair out on the porch, surrounded by her coon-huntin' hounds.

jen lancaster, heartburn, emergency room-Let's hope Jen wasn't tryin' to Google the number for her nearest emergency room after fallin' ill. Because I don't know nothin' about treatin' no hearburn. I'm just a simple hillbilly.

the curse of the maji-Somebody seems to have confused gift with curse. And has come down with a bad case of misspellitis. Yes, somebody is going to be in for a rude awakening when Santa shows up with that big bag of curses next Christmas.


labbie1 said...

LOL How funny! :)

Val Thevictorian said...

Thanks. Sometimes, I have too much time on my hands.