Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Letters I'm Writing, Never Meaning to Send

Some letters, like stories, write themselves.

I have been thinking about items that I could submit to Unsent Letters. I saw the link last week when I dropped in for my daily visit at Cathy C.'s Hall of Fame.

The first thought that came to mind was my ongoing battle with home delivery services such as Unqualified People Shipping. My other blog, the one what brung me here, chronicles the abuse they've heaped upon me over the past six years. With photos! That's not the sole slant of that blog, of course, just a small selection of my rantings and ravings.

The next object of my derision worthy of an unsent letter is The Butcher of Seville. I would absolutely love to not-share my feelings with her concerning the recent pruning she inflicted on my noggin-hedge. But today, oh...today has given me a whole new reason for writing. Trips to Walmart often do that.

I don't want to dehydrate myself here, let my creative juices leak out before I write that savory, unsent letter. But let's just say that I should never find, upon loading my bags into the back of my dust-covered SUV, the following strange bagfellows:

1-Four $0.88 Banquet TV Dinners on top of $5.85 worth of green seedless grapes on top of a bag of shredded lettuce.

2-Two large cans of Hunts Spaghetti Sauce With Meat, plus one can of Great Value Blackeyed Peas, plus one can of Macaroni and Beef on top of a box of Great Value Whole Wheat Spaghetti, on top of a net bag of vine-ripened cherry tomatoes.

3-A large can of Deluxe Mixed Nuts and one can of Great Value Blackeyed Peas on top of a bunch of bananas.

In addition, I should not have had to give up my dream of buying two boxes of Great Value Whole Wheat Spaghetti, just because the checker knocked open the end of the box while scanning, so it dumped out in the bag, at which time she picked up more off the floor and said, "Well...I guess I'll just set this aside..." You're darn tootin', girlie, because I am NOT going to pay for and take home to feed my family loose spaghetti noodles that you've touched with your sweaty hands. And since I waited in line for fifteen minutes behind one other customer, I am not sending The Pony back to that aisle for another, just so you don't have to punch one key and subtract it from my total. But in retrospect, I should have, because the one box that made it home unopened was broken in half from being bagged under the canned goods.

It's not rocket science, bagging groceries. I even group my items together on the conveyor the way I would like them bagged. Boxes with other boxes, cold items, cans, produce, squishies, bread. She deliberately varied from my bagging blueprint to inflict that damage. But I didn't complain. Because jobs are hard to come by these days. I'll do my part to help the economy by eating damaged food. But not floor food.

I'm getting all worked up again. Time to write that letter that I'm never meaning to send.


Kathy's Klothesline said...

I think you should sent your letter. Having been once employed at Sam Walton's Magic Kingdom and having had to endure all the CBL's (computer based learning) even though I was working in the pharmacy and not as a checker; I happen to know that they have to score at least 80% of the CBL that teaches how to bag merchandise. These CBLs are visual and audio and on the level of sixth grade. Really easy to understand, really hard not to pass. Most annoying thing I ever had to do, too.

Sioux said...

I think the letter to Walmart needs to be sent. Too often we just "take it, "silently."

Say no to "floor food!" Say no to "squishies" being mixed up with cans. Say no to deviating from the bagging blueprint!

Cathy C. Hall said...

Oh, you definitely have a letter there, sister. Even if you can't get unbroken, relatively sanitary food, you should get an acceptance from those Unsent Letter folks.

(P.S. Thanks for the shout out. I so hope you write this letter!)

ShanimalsCrackers.blogspot.com said...

Um, writing it out helps. But what helps even more is sending what you wrote to the large corporation and receiving monetary compensation for what you've had to endure!

Pam said...

I am so glad I stumbled across your blog as I was hopping around the blogosphere. (Direct link from Arlee Bird). You have such a wonderful gift of humor. It is a hoot reading your blog. Thanks for the best medicine I took today!
Pam at www.2encourage.blogspot.com

Val Thevictorian said...

So...it's not rocket science, but you DO have to be smarter than a 5th grader.

I don't think it would help unless I fingered the perp. I have the receipt, and I figure her number is on it. But I don't want to get somebody fired. She probably has other complaints in her file.

Cathy C.
Maybe I should THANK her for giving me material! A nice bouquet of squashed green grapes and oozy cherry tomatoes should do the trick. I can't spare the broken spaghetti. My kids need to eat.

One time I bit into some Sweet Sue Premium Chunk White Chicken, and chomped down on a bone the size of a golf tee. I was incensed. It could have pierced my gums. And I HATE going to the dentist!

I wrote a letter and enclosed the bone (dried out by then) in a baggie. My reward? Coupons for Sweet Sue chicken. I suppose they wanted to finish the job.

Which reminds me...I also found a twig in Peter Pan peanut butter. I didn't send that one in. That was when their product was giving everybody diarrhea. But it will make a good letter. I think I even have a picture of the twig.

Thank you. Glad I made you a hooter, even if I did it by dispensing medicine without a license.

irishoma said...

Please write the letter.

Grocery stores must be fodder for disappointment and poor service.

The other day I left a local grocery store which advertises its customer service frustrated when a cashier (much younger than I am) left my bags sitting, waiting for me to put them in the cart myself. I am not a spoiled princess. I'm used to doing things for myself, but I wanted to say, "Excuse me, for a moment I thought I was in Aldi's or Shop and Save and not Dierbergs." Then I thought about going to Customer Service to complain, but I didn't want to get the cashier in trouble or have her lose her job. I am such a wimp.

Val Thevictorian said...

See? We don't want anybody to get fired. I just want them to get a stern talking-to. But you never know what will happen.

I agree with you. For Dierbergs prices, you should get Dierbergs service.

I DID stand up for myself when I woke up during surgery (!) and overheard the nurses and doctor talking about me. I typed up the whole dialogue and sent it to the director of the nursing department. She called me and apologized profusely. She said her nurses are always lectured about this. She planned to pull the records and see who was working and reprimand them. She also said she could corroborate my story with the operating room log, because I had mentioned another doctor on another surgery, which I could not have known except for the nurses discussing it. Unfortunately, she could not do anything about the doctor, but told me who to contact.

I did not want to do that, because it's a small town. I didn't want to end up like some unfortunate Robin Cook character in case I needed more surgery.

My whole point was that if you wake up and TELL those people you're awake, and it hurts, they should give you more medicine. Not say, "Yeah, she's awake. But will she remember it tomorrow?" Because I most certainly did.

labbie1 said...

I thought I was the only one that put things on the conveyor belt in the order they should be bagged!!! LOL

Val Thevictorian said...

See? We try to make it easy for them, and they insist on re-inventing the wheel.