Unbagging the Cats 1

Unbagging the Cats 1

Thursday, July 7, 2011

The Generation Crap

Rumors of my senility have been greatly exaggerated.

Yesterday, I mentioned how my son was adamant that carrying an umbrella was NOT socially acceptable for a whippersnapper of his tender years. Also, Mommy Needs a Xanax commented her concern, and corroborated the present-day stigma of umbrella-totage. Who knew? Not this old lady, that's for sure.

My self esteem was not bolstered by the morning conversation with Genius. It preceded the favorite Frisbee, sweatshirt, and umbrella brouhaha. I made him rise and shine at the ungodly hour of 10:30. He flopped on the couch and put a pillow over his face, occasionally peering out to watch some National Geographic. We seem to be getting NatGeo free this month. The show was Is It Real, an episode concerning Atlantis, how supposedly the Atlantians were geniuses who traveled the world teaching different civilizations pyramid-building and other vital skills. It alleged that all the secrets of the Atlantians are buried under one of the pyramids in the Giza complex, which the narrator referred to as the Temple of Giza.

Genius took the pillow off his face and looked at me. Pointedly. "If that was about you, it would be the Temple of Geezer." Ain't that a fine how-do-you-do? Coming from Mr. I Sliced Open My Finger With An X-Acto Knife While Inventing A 3D Camera Tripod.

In the afternoon, after his unsupervised swim, he accosted me for ideas on designing a new phone app for the android market. He's made a dollar or two off his previous apps, the last one being a game that I supplied the idea for, with kids being the target market. This time, he said, "Give me an idea. What kind of app do you and your old lady friends need for your phones?" I told him it would have to be something really simple. "I know that. That's why I'm asking you. If you can use it, I know anybody can use it."

In this house, insults come in threes. Last night I asked him how to set up the Twitter, Facebook, Gmail forwarding thingies at the bottom of each post. He elbowed me out of the way faster than Jimmy Fallon as Nick Burns, Your Company's Computer Guy. I had to ask him what each symbol stood for. He sighed. He pounded the keys with all the gusto of a stenographer transcribing a Dennis Miller rant. He picked and chose which symbols to include.

"Wait a minute. Why did you leave that one out? What is that? Yahoo? Why don't you put that one on there?"

Well. Apparently, nobody uses Yahoo anymore. I could tell by the dramatic eye roll, the piercing stare of disbelief, and the declaration, "Nobody uses Yahoo anymore, Mom. Just no."

Pardon me while I go slice open some tennis balls for the feet of my walker.

5 comments:

Josh Hoyt said...

I think that Miz Manners needs to have a comment on this. I wonder who she would side with :) Although my yahoo acct just got hacked and so I am no longer a yahoo user either.

Sioux said...

Isn't it amazing how we have survived for this long, as lame and stupid as we are?

Once I asked my son (a teenager) what hair color (dye) would look good on me/look natural. (We were in Target in the hair dye aisle.) The little stink said, "White."

Val Thevictorian said...

Josh,
I think Miz Manners needs some time off. She's getting up in years, you know. And she spends an inordinate amount of time trying to find her friends on Yahoo.

However...Miz Manners mentioned that she understands that teenagers go through phases, trying to break away from authority figures and establish independence. She also understands that teenagers think the Chinese bombed the Japanese at Pearl Harbor, Japan. And that the South won the Civil War, because those people go around with the rebel flag on their trucks, and who would be proud about showing the flag of a loser? And Canada is a state, while Illinois is a city in Missouri. And in Lord of the Flies, the boys found a couch on the beach, and blew in it to start their meetings.

Miz Manners believes that youth is wasted on the young.

******************************

Sioux,
That cracks me up. He must know the kid who thinks God signed my yearbook.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Oh, I was unaware about the whoe yahoo thingie ........ am I old?

Val Thevictorian said...

Kathy,
I consulted my Magic 8 Ball. It popped up, "Signs point to yes."