Last weekend, I bought myself a new copy of True Grit. I have an old paperback, not a movie tie-in, in rough shape. You can never have too many copies of True Grit.
I first read a part of the book when I was a wee lass, before the John Wayne movie came out. Or at least before the movie made it to my podunk town. Being so young, I don't remember too many details about my initial reading. But I do know that the part I read was the rattlesnake scene. I was sneak-reading, it seems, from a magazine I found hidden in the bathroom closet that was not for kids. Instead of dwelling on the inappropriate stuff, I read the True Grit excerpt. NERD! I don't know the magazine, and have since discovered that parts of True Grit were published in The Saturday Evening Post. That was no Post I was reading.
My mom and dad took me to see the movie. I didn't have enough sense to know that the acting was terrible. I loved that movie. So much, in fact, that I finagled a second viewing in the company of my grandma. It didn't take me long to memorize the lines. As a proud DVD owner, I shout them at the screen whenever I can persuade somebody to watch it with me. True Grit is my personal Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Here is the part where I inflict my favorite quotes upon you:
You can still throw a cat through the south wall.
Now don't you worry about Grandma Turner. She's used to doubling up.
Look out for the chicken and dumplings. They'll hurt your eyes.
They'll hurt your eyes looking for the chicken.
I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains.
She reminds me of me.
I also notice that the men of Texas gouge their mounts with great brutal spurs and cultivate their hair like lettuce.
A clumsier child you'll never see than Horace. He must have broke forty cup.
Everything happens to me. And now I am shot by a child.
Lawyer Daggett again.
She draws him like a gun.
I would quote Strother Martin as Colonel Stonehill, but short snippets cannot do him justice.